5 Steps on How to Forgive Yourself in Islam

When you have an issue with others, you try to make a deal with them and learn how to forgive someone. You may become angry or hate them but oftentimes you jump into forgiving them or leaving them behind. Commonly forgiving others work perfectly to solve the problem. But, how about when it comes to yourself?

Are you ready for forgiving yourself? You may get angry and hate yourself, but you can’t leave yourself just like your perceived ways of holding grudges in Islam.

Forgiving others sometimes can be hard tough, but forgiving yourself is harder. So, how you make a deal with yourself when coming into forgiveness? How Islam perceived forgiving yourself?

Here we have 5 steps on how to forgiving yourself in Islam based on the Quran in everyday life.

1. Admitting Your Guilt

Realizing your own mistake sometimes can be hard tough. But, at that time can be the best way to resent your guilt away.

By admitting your guilt you become more relieved and realize something new. It can be the best way to learn something that you should not make the same mistakes again.

In Islam, admitting your guilt can be considered as you are ready to ask for Allah forgiveness in repentances way. There is no way to doubting for Muslims in a way to do repentances towards Allah. In the Quran, surah At Taubah verse 104 mentions about this.

اَلَمْ يَعْلَمُوْٓا اَنَّ اللّٰهَ هُوَ يَقْبَلُ التَّوْبَةَ عَنْ عِبَادِهٖ وَيَأْخُذُ الصَّدَقٰتِ وَاَنَّ اللّٰهَ هُوَ التَّوَّابُ الرَّحِيْمُ – ١٠٤

“Do they not know that Allah accepts the repentance of His servants and receives Zakat and that Allah is the recipient of repentance, the Most Merciful?”

2. Be Specific With Your Guilt

After admitting your guilt, you have to be more specific to your guilt so that you never do the same mistake again. Identify what makes you feeling guilt the most and what is bothering yourself the most. Then take it to Allah as you ask for His forgiveness and assure Him to not do the same mistake again.

In the Quran, surah Al Anam verse 54 mentions about this.

وَاِذَا جَاۤءَكَ الَّذِيْنَ يُؤْمِنُوْنَ بِاٰيٰتِنَا فَقُلْ سَلٰمٌ عَلَيْكُمْ كَتَبَ رَبُّكُمْ عَلٰى نَفْسِهِ الرَّحْمَةَۙ اَنَّهٗ مَنْ عَمِلَ مِنْكُمْ سُوْۤءًاۢ بِجَهَالَةٍ ثُمَّ تَابَ مِنْۢ بَعْدِهٖ وَاَصْلَحَ فَاَنَّهٗ غَفُوْرٌ رَّحِيْمٌ – ٥٤

“And if those who believe in our verses come to you, say, “Salamun‘ Alaikum (good luck to you). ” Your Lord has determined the nature of compassion on Himself, (ie) whoever commits evil among you out of ignorance, then he repents afterward and corrects himself, then He is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful.”

3. Stop Blaming Yourself

Sometimes, as we make mistakes we feel guilt a lot then turn into despair for blaming yourself. It is fine to feel sad or disappointed in yourself when you made mistakes.

But turn it into despair is something we should avoid. That is why you need to stop blaming yourself. Make a reminder to yourself that mistakes make us growing up into someone better.

Besides, always blaming yourself will harm your self and soul. It is better to seek forgiveness from Allah. Besides, Allah said in the Quran surah Al Hadid verse 21 that we should get more blessings from Him.

سَابِقُوْٓا اِلٰى مَغْفِرَةٍ مِّنْ رَّبِّكُمْ وَجَنَّةٍ عَرْضُهَا كَعَرْضِ السَّمَاۤءِ وَالْاَرْضِۙ اُعِدَّتْ لِلَّذِيْنَ اٰمَنُوْا بِاللّٰهِ وَرُسُلِهٖۗ ذٰلِكَ فَضْلُ اللّٰهِ يُؤْتِيْهِ مَنْ يَّشَاۤءُ ۚوَاللّٰهُ ذُو الْفَضْلِ الْعَظِيْمِ – ٢١

“Race to find forgiveness from your Lord and heaven as vast as the heavens and the earth, which is provided for those who believe in Allah and His apostles. That is the gift of God, given to whom He wants. And God has a great gift.”

4. Decide to Heal

As you find yourself to not blame yourself anymore, the guilt you feel becomes clear, and so the wound will become less painful. In this phase, you have already try to clearer your wound by seeking repentances for Allah forgiveness.

Decide to heal yourself may not as easy as you thought. But, at least you try to do that by patience and recite Quran verses as the way to become closer to Allah. It is also important to have some tips to make a decision earlier in Islam so we will not be lost our path.

There are a lot of surahs in the Quran that can peace your soul such as Surah Yunus verse 57 which mentions this.

يٰٓاَيُّهَا النَّاسُ قَدْ جَاۤءَتْكُمْ مَّوْعِظَةٌ مِّنْ رَّبِّكُمْ وَشِفَاۤءٌ لِّمَا فِى الصُّدُوْرِۙ وَهُدًى وَّرَحْمَةٌ لِّلْمُؤْمِنِيْنَ – ٥٧

“O, people! Indeed, you have learned a lesson (the Qur’an) from your Lord, a cure for a disease in the chest and guidance and mercy for a believer.”

5. Move On

After passing through do some points above step by step, now it’s time to let them go. Commonly, move on is the best way to heal the wound inside our chest.

We should be moving forward because the past becomes our lesson learned. Now, it’s time to make a lot of good deeds such as how to collect good deeds in Ramadhan. So that may Allah give His blessing.

In the Quran surah, Al Baqarah verse 160 mentions about this.

اِلَّا الَّذِيْنَ تَابُوْا وَاَصْلَحُوْا وَبَيَّنُوْا فَاُولٰۤىِٕكَ اَتُوْبُ عَلَيْهِمْ ۚ وَاَنَا التَّوَّابُ الرَّحِيْمُ – ١٦٠

“Except those who have repented, made repairs, and explained (it), they are the ones I have accepted repentance and I am the Most Receptive, Most Merciful.”

So, there are 5 steps you should do if you now have been struggling with the “forgive yourself” thing. Spending more time with family or friends will help you to pass the despair in your chest. So, stop locking yourself and try to see the light. May Allah give His blessing to you