Self control or Mujahadah an-Nafs is refraining from all behaviors that can hurt yourself and others or it is a serious effort to fight ego and self-indulgence.
This effort is done because self-indulgence has a tendency to search happiness, abandon rights and obligations.
Whoever like to follow his lust, then indeed he has taken captive and enslaved by his lust. This becomes one reasons of the Prophet Muhammad Shallallahu ‘Alaihi wa sallam stated that jihad that fight lust was more powerful than jihad that fight enemy (qital).
By self control, our behaviors will be controlled and it becomes an important factor upon one’s success to solve a problem in his life. Abu Hurairah r.a. narrated that Rasulullah Shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said :
“A strong man is not someone who win in fight, but a strong man is someone who control hisself when he is angry.” (Narrated by Bukhari and Muslim)
As Moslems, we should control our selves. Here are some ways how to develop self control in Islam.
- Read ta’awudz
As Moslems, we should control ourselves. Do not let your emotional control yourself. Because of that, we should ask help and protection from Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala. From Sulaiman bin Surd Ra, he told :
One day, I sat with the Prophet Muhammad Shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam. AT that time, there were two people yelling each other. The one’s face has been red and his jugular vein climaxed. Then Rasulullah Shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said :
“Indeed, I know there is one sentence, if it is read by this person, his anger will be lose. If he reads ta’awudz : “A’uudzu billahi minas syaithanir rajiim,” his anger will be lose.” (Narrated by Bukhari and Muslim)
- Be patient
If you are often ridiculed or mocked by your friends, you should be patient. Do not reply them with anything. It is better if you pray them, so they can realize that their behavior can hurt others.
See also : How to be patience in Islam
As Moslems, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala teaches us to forgive our friends or others who have done bad things to us. Because if we do not forgive them and we resent them, it only hurts ourselves. We will feel sorry later. So that, forgive them and take a lesson from this situation.
It is also applied to ourselves. When we fails to control ourselves, guilt and hate will arise in ourselves. If it happens, we should forget it and forgive ourselves. So that, self control will be easier. [AdSense-B]
See also : The importance of forgiveness in Islam
- Take a minute
Take a minute and try to calm yourself. If you need, take a rest and go far away from others until your anger calm down.
- Be sincere
Islam teaches us to be sincere upon all of tests and disasters from Allah Subahnahu Wa Ta’ala. By sincerity, we can pass all of tests well and insha Allah, we will also get rewards from Him.
- Thank to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala
As His servants, we are always given the enjoyment of life. So that, we should be grateful to Him and do not break those enjoyment, such as keep clean our environments, take care our body, consume halal food and drink and many more.
See also : Best dua to thank Allah for His blessings
- Think before talking
If you are angry, you will be easy to say something that make you regret later. So that, you should take a minute to collect your mind before saying something.
If you only focus to something that make you angry, remind yourself that anger does not fix anything and it is only make the situation worse.
- Do exercises
Exercises can help you to calm your emotional. Because exercises stimulate our brains and make us happier and more relaxed.
If we do not realize when we lose our control, how can we control it? We should know our feelings. We have to remember “when and how” we feel special feelings, such as happy. By knowing our feelings, we can control ourselves easier.
- Giving vent in a healthy way
Do not keep emotions. When emotions come to you, try to call or visit your best friends. Tell your problems to them.
Listen their opinions, so that we can find a new solution for that problem. Besides that, you can write a diary and do exercises. Do activities that are very suitable for you. So you can lose negative feelings in yourself.
- Do not make a big deal
When you are in a difficult situation, you should know first how big is your problem. Of course, you do not want to lose your control.
So, keep calm and do not be panic. Do not make a big deal of this problem. You can see that there are many people who get a bigger problem than you. So that, you will be more thankful with your condition today.
- Self-introspection or tafakur
Tafakur or self-introspection is a reflection for every actions and words that we have done. One of the benefits of tafakur is it can fortify yourself from excessive behaviors, such as anger.
See also : How to meditate in Islam
- Train your reaction
Maybe it is very difficult to be done. Our reactions and our ways to control ourselves are a habit. Have you ever seen a stress man with a trivial matter? You should be pitiful to him. It has been his habit because he always relates something that he does not like with stress.
He does not have full control over his self. For that, we should learn about the way to be calm. It is not easy and it becomes a reason for others to give up with their conditions. But, when you can control yourself, you will feel an unexpected turn before.
- Keep your mouth silently
When you are angry, the most difficult to be controlled is speech. Commonly, when we are angry, we will say many words.
Because of that, if we has started to feel angry, we should be silent. Keep our mouth and our words. From Ibn Abbas radhiyallahu ‘anhu, Rasulullah Shallalahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said “If you are angry, be silent.” (Narrated by Ahmad)
- Do sunnah fasting and say istighfar
Sunnah fasting has many benefits for us, such as control our lust. It will be better if we also say istighfar everyday. Saying istighfar is asking forgiveness to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala upon sins and faults that we have done. So that, our heart and mind will be more relaxed and calmer when something comes to disturb you or make you angry.
See also : Importance of istighfar in Islam
Thus the article about 15 how to develop self control in Islam. Hopefully we will be better person than before. Amen.