Everyone wished their family to be intact until the end. But at some point, separation between husband and wife is unavoidable. Sooner or later, a new husband coming in to fill the empty space. However, the husband has another rights and responsibility toward the family, including the children. As he is not the real father, surely he has different roles in the family.
A lot of adjustment has to be made and many matters should be talked over regarding the rights and duty of the new stepfather. Here are the rights of stepfather in Islam along with his duty in the family.
1. To be Respected by the Children
Children should respect the stepfather when their mother planned to remarried. They don’t have to love the stepfather like they love their real father, but respecting them is a must.
Also read: Rights of Siblings in Islam
2. Not to Interfere with the Children’s Life
A real father has an absolute right of the life of the children, and the mother should discussed everything related to the children only to the real father, not the stepfather. He shouldn’t interfere too far.
3. He Doesn’t Have to Financially Responsible
This only applied if the real father is still alive.A real father’s responsibility to his children never stop even he has divorced from his wife. Even though his ex fie got remarried to someone who is financially better than him, he still has to support the children financially, not the stepfather.
Also read: Rights of Workers in Islam
4. Not to Discipline the Stepchildren
A stepfather indeed should be helping his wife to raise and upbringing the children. However his rights are still limited, especially when the real father is still alive. The biological father has more rights than the stepfather.
“Whoever claims to belong to someone other than his father, will be cursed by Allah, the angels and all the people, and Allah will not accept any deeds or excuses from him on the Day of Resurrection.” -Muslim
5. Not to Adopt the Children
A stepfather doesn’t have to adopt the children when he marries a woman who has children. But he should take the children as his own by loving her equally as he loves the mother. Unless the real father has deceased, the stepfather doesn’t have full responsibility to the children.
Also read: Muslim Rights to Other Muslims
6. To be Loved by the Wife
As the wife has decided to marry him, then she should love him with all her heart and soul. He should never be compared with anyone, especially with the previous husband.
7. Limiting the Responsibility to the Children
A stepfather should also limiting the responsibility to the children. This is for the sake of the real father, who is still has the full responsibility to the children. Never cross the line since it may cause rift between the real father and the stepfather.
Also read: Rights of Elders in Islam
8. Not to Marry His Stepdaughter
When the wife he married passed away, and she has a daughter, then the stepfather should not marry the stepdaughter.
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9. Not to Become the Children’s Guardian
The rights to act as the children’s guardian belong to the biological parents. Nobody could take over the rights, including the stepfather. He should know that he can never be the guardian for his stepchildren. If the father has deceased, then the late father’s brother becomes their guardian.
Also read: Rights of Minorities in Islam
10. Knowing the Limitation of His Right
As the right of a stepfather is limited, then he should understand the limitation. By understanding what are his rights and what are not, someone can make the perfect husband and a good stepfather to the children.
Stepfather Duty in the Family According to Islam
Being the new leader of the family, stepfather has certain duty to fulfill. From how he treat the wife, the stepchildren, and what kind of responsibility that should be bear.
1. Support the Mother Mentally
After the stepfather comes in, the mother has to get through the transition from single parent to a wife. Therefore, she required huge support from the husband. It has become the stepfather’s responsibility to support the mother mentally through the process.
2. Provide the Mother Financially
As the head of the family, the stepfather bear the responsibility to provide the financial needs of the family. In particular, the wife is his main responsibility. As for the child, he has no obligation to provide the needs of if the real father is still alive. But if the father has deceased, he should take over the role.
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3. Respecting the Ex-Husband
The husband should respect the ex husband of the wife if he is still alive. However, he is still the real father of the children and he still has the rights to them. It’s important to keep in a good term with the ex husband, especially when the ex husband is a fellow Muslim brother.
4. Assisting the Wife in Upbringing the Child
It’s also become the responsibility of the stepfather to help the wife raising the children. But it only applied when the children is still underage or teenager. But one thing that should be remembered is the stepfather’s role is only assisting, not taking too big part of raising the children.
5. Nurturing the Underage Children
If the children is still a baby, then the stepfather has the right to nurture the children. He has to help the children to grow up with love and care. But the obligation is still limited if the father is still alive.
6. Taking Care of the Wife
As the husband is marrying the wife, he has to take care all the needs of the wife. From the financial needs to the moral needs, all the husband must be able to provide all of them.
7. Treat the Family Well
A stepfather should be equally loving the wife and the children. He must not abuse the children. Treating the family well means providing the family needs from giving them a proper house to live in and provide the with foods.
So those are all the rights of stepfather in Islam and what responsibility he carries. One must be learning about many things if he’s about to become a stepfather.