Gossiping and talking about others is unavoidable in daily life while we socialize with others. Even when we initially not talking about certain person, the talk unconsciously going to the wrong way. But gossiping others is a highly hated act by Allah SWT.
“O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear God, verily, God is the one who accepts repentance, Most Merciful.” (49: 12)
This is the best ways how to avoid gossip in Islam:
1. Spending Time Seeking for Knowledge
Rather than talking about others, it’s always better seeking for knowledge instead. So that we wisely spend our time and not doing useless things that only cause us to commit sins.
As written inside the Holy Quran,
“And say: ‘My Lord! Increase me in knowledge.” (20:114)
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2. Avoiding People Who Gossiping Others
When some people gather, talking about others is unavoidable. At some point, they will run out of topic and have no choice but gossiping other people instead. It could be even more sad because they even backbite their own friends.
3. Avoiding Places That are Gossip Potential
If we don’t want to be involved in gossiping others, then we must do our best to avoid places where gossiping can be happen. Such as internet chatting rooms without any clear purposes , the lunchroom, or cafeteria. We have to socialize with other but we should never involve in some negative things like badmouthing others.
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4. Don’t Lead the Talk
When the talk is going well about general matters, and we suddenly run out of topic, don’t start any leading question like, “He/she haven’t seem to be around lately. I wonder how he/she doing?” The answer to that question can be very dangerous and leading into a bad gossip when your partner said, “Haven’t you heard that he/she…”
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5. Don’t Backbiting Others
Gossiping others can turn out very bad when one person start to backbite on others, especially when the talk is affecting them badly. The Prophet (SAW) said,
“Keep to gentleness and avoid harshness and coarseness. Gentleness is not found in anything without adorning it, and is not withdrawn from anything without shaming it.” (Muslim)
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6. Be Sure of Where You Stand
Trying to avoid gossiping and talking about others is nothing simple. It could be very hard at times when everyone around us did it. As a good Muslim, we have to make sure on which ground we stand. Don’t be afraid to show others that we don’t want to talk about others.
7. Remind Each Other About Gossiping
A good Muslim must become a good reminder for other Muslims when they’re about to commit sin. When a conversation is leading into gossiping, we must remind our friends to stop. After that we could direct the conversation to the right direction and avoid committing sin at the same time.
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8. Keep Silent
“He who keeps silence will be safe.” (Ahmad, Tirmidhi)
The hadith above suggests us to remain silence regarding gossiping and talking about other people. When we gather with friends, we better avoid talking about the one who is not there at the moment. So that we don’t have to talk bad things about her which lead to a backbiting.
9. Forgiving People Who Gossip About You
Sometimes we can’t hold ourselves not to talk about others because they have talked about us once. It’s hard for us to forgive them and we simply want to take revenge. No matter how hard others have hurt us, we better forgive them instead.
“And let not those among you who are blessed with graces and wealth swear not to give to their kinsmen, Al-Masakin (the needy), and those who left their homes for Allah’s Cause. Let them pardon and forgive. Do you not love that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (24:22)
Also read: Virtues of Gratefulness in Islam
10. Remember About Death
A good Muslims is someone who constantly reminded about death. Gossiping and backbiting others is a very heavy sin which could make our way to Jannah even harder. If we die before we have time to repent, then the sin will be following us forever to the Hereafter.
11. Talk Good Only
Instead of talking about something ill, we could rather talk about good things only, such as praising other people to make our imaan stronger. As the Prophet (SAW) said,
“Whoever defends his brother’s honor, Allah will protect his face from the Fire of the Day of Resurrection.” (Tirmidhi)
12. Earn Trust from Others
What we gossip and talk about are usually some false rumors with no ground. If we happen to know the truth, we have to show others that what they gossip about is nothing close to reality. This verification is needed in order to earn trust from others.
13. Show You Don’t Care
Keeping ourselves away from others’ business is the best way how to avoid gossip in Islam. If it’s nothing concern us, we better not showing any care regarding that matter. It also an encouraging act not to meddle in someone else’s business that have nothing to do with us.
14. Drive the Topic Away
If a talk is likely going to a bad direction, we must drive the topic away. Instead of talking about others, we better talk about anything we interest about or anything more positive.
Practicing all the ways ho to avoid gossip in Islam is not easy. But however it’s always worth the effort. After going through hardship avoiding in gossiping others, in the end we gain goodness out of it.