Rights of Parents in Islam After Death and Alive
Devoting to parents is the most important and most beloved practice of Allah Ta’ala after we worship Him. Devoting to parents is a cause to have a bless from Allah Ta’ala, gaining His heaven and also, the noble character and practice of the Prophets. From this, it is clear that parents have a supreme right that must be fulfilled by the child as a form of obedience to God and repayment to both. Devoted to parents is not only limited to when they are alive, but must continue to be done after both died.
Prophet Muhammad SAW gave instructions in worshiping both parents either during their second life or after they were gone. Allah has established the obligation upon the child to worship and do good to his parents, even the order is mentioned with the obligation of the most important servant is the obligation to worship only to Allah Ta’ala and not associate with Him. This is mentioned in Surah Al-Isra verse 23 :
‘And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [with], say not to them [so much as], “uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.‘
Rights after Death
To know what their rights after death, this is what to do :
1. Right to Buried
The first right is take care of his/her body and pray for both. This is the thing that have to do because this is a proof of our devotion to both parents. Never forget to doing istighfar (asking forgiveness of Allah Ta’ala) for both of them. Because they are the most important person to be prayed for Allah swt to forgive their sins and accept their good deeds.
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2. Right of Their Legacy
The second right of our parents is respecting their legacy. Perform the promises and testimonies of both parents who have not been fulfilled in their lifetime, and continue the good deeds they have done in their lifetime. Continuing their preaching or da’wa is also a kind of respecting their legacy. Because, the reward will continue to flow to them both if good deeds are continued.
See also : Rights of In Laws in Islam
3. Rights of Reconnect with Their Colleague
To honor friends or close friends of both parents, the Prophet Muhammad saw. never said,
“Truly the best child’s devotion is a child who connects the friendship rope with the family of his father’s friends after his father died”. (Muslim).
That being said, we have to continuing to connect the rope of their relations with relatives of Mother and Father. Prophet Muhammad saw said,
“Whoever wants to connect his father’s existing silaturrahim buried, then connect silaturrahim rope with his father’s brothers after he died”. (Ibn Hibban).
This hadith is not only for our father, but also for our mother. This is important because with continuing their relations or hospitality, it will help each other and bring us to many good deeds and blessing from Allah swt.
4. Rights to Praying
A child should be earnest in observing his obedience to Allah, because every good deed he does will come to both believing parents even if he does not say, “this charity I give to my mother or father,” or a greeting such as, because the child is part of the parent’s business, and that in no way diminishes the reward of the child. As Allah swt said in An-Najm verse 39 :
“And that a man has not acquired other than what he has earned.”
And the child is part of his parents’ efforts, as the Prophet Muhammad saw said in Hadith At-Tirmidzi 1358 and Ibn Majah 2290 :
“The best of what you eat is from your efforts, and indeed your children are part of your efforts.”
And when a child performs obedience, such as prayer, fasting, and other deeds of obedience, it is not necessary to say, “I give the reward of this worship for my parents”, because the reward of the worship will come to the parents, precisely the pronunciation is absent essentially from the Hadith of the Prophet Muhammad saw and practices of the companions.
We should not carry out a form of worship unless there is a good nash of the Qur’an and the sunnah of His Messenger. While the second opinion allows to award all kinds of charity of virtue to the dead. Their argument is qiyas or analogy. For example, it is permissible to reward the recitation of the Qur’an because it is analogous to the possibility to award the reward of shadaqah to the dead.
5. Rights to Keep Their Honors
People are often doing disgraceful act by joking their parents. Consciously or not they fall into the pride of their parents or offspring until finally reproach each other their parents. In one hadith Prophet Muhammad saw said:
“Including a great sin is a person denouncing his parents.” The Companions asked: “O Messenger of Allah, is there anyone who denounces the main man?” He replied: “He reproached another man’s father and then he replied to reproach his parents, he denounced another mother and he replied to his mother’s reproach.”
This is definitely dragged our parents dignity and honor, so if we want to talk about our parents, make sure that it will going to a joke and keep their dignity in the right way. If someone start to joking or disrespect, remember them in the soft way that those thing are not good.
Rights when Alive
But the most important is, we have to respect their right when they are alive. This is very important because it will give us the blessing from Allah swt. Their right when they are still alive is :
1. Taking Good Care of Our Parents
Parents are the people who are most entitled to get good relationships. It is not just limited to good and obedient parents, the unbelieving parent is also entitled to good friendship, because it returns to himself, while the obedience of a child to his / her parents is an obligation of his own. In Surah Luqman verse 14-15 narrated that :
“And We command the people (do good) to his father’s two fathers, his mother has conceived him in a state of weakness that adds up, and wean him for two years, give thanks to Me and to your father’s two mothers, only to me the place of your return and if both of them force you to associate me with something you have no knowledge of it, so do not follow both, and keep both of them in the world well, and follow the path of those who come back to Me, then only to Me you return, then I tell you what which you have done. “
In saheeh hadith narrated from Muslim no. 2549 said that :
‘And Abdullah bin ‘Amr ibn al-‘Ash ra. said: “Someone came to the Messenger of Allah saw. and said,” I will make you ready for hijrah and jihad in order to expect reward from Allah “, then Rasulullah saw. asked him: “Is one of your parents living still?” The person replied, “Yes alive, even both are alive”. The Prophet then asked, “Do you want the reward of God?”, Then the man answered, “Yes, I expect reward”. Then the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said to him, “Then go back to your parents and have a good relationship with them.”‘
From the verses and hadith explained that the glory of the parents so high. It is extent to the unbelieving parents; they are still ordered to mingle with good and obey as long as not ordered disobedience, if we are ordered to do immoral, then at that time we should not obey it. You may want to read about Islamic Ways to Treat Your Wife
The Messenger of Allah ordered a man to worship the parents, when he was about to leave in the course of jihad in the way of Allah. This shows us that jihad even though it has a high position and become dzirwatu sanamil Islam (the culmination of Islam), dutiful to parents should take precedence if the law of jihad is not fardhu ‘ain.
2. Da’wah to Our Parents
By always praying for both and enthusiastic in advising, exerting all the power and effort that Allah gives the guise of Islam to both if both are still infidels, and give guidance to the right manhaj. This is the way that the prophets and the early generations of the Ummah have taken, they are eager and very hopeful that their parents will get the guidance and feel the sweetness of faith as they have felt. They exert all their power and effort to achieve these noble hopes and goals. Read more about Importance of Family Life in Islam
In these days, we have obligation to remind or remembering our parents to keep in Allah’s path. These aim are to keep them from the Hellfire and the punishment in Hereafter. Sometimes, it is hard to do because they are much more older. And they easily offended if they listen our suggest or probably critic. Even our goal is good to remind of their fault, but it is necessary to know that they have more experience in life, and we have to be clever at finding ways to remind our parents if they do wrong.
That was the rights of our parents after death. We should fulfill their rights, because (perhaps) it will be the last thing to do for them. Our devotion is still continued after their death. We sincerely hope that this article will help you to keep in touch with your parents.
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