6 Effective Prayers for Deceased Husband in Islam
Humans are created to be paired. A good men will be paired with a good women. And they are tied themselves in marriage, with promise together till death do them part. As a widow (or widower, because this article is not only for women, but also for men who abandoned by his deceased wife), our obligation is pray to Him, with hope that Allah will accept his deeds, extend his grave, forgive all of his sins, protected (or at least be lightened) from punishment in grave, and placed beside Allah swt.
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1. Surah Al-Fatihah
This first surah from Al-Qur’an is the most used by many people (ultimately in Indonesia) if they want to pray and the deeds from there is sent to our deceased parents or spouse. We can find the use of Al-Fatihah when we are in Mosque and the announcer invite anyone in there to recite Al-Fatihah for someone in certain conditions (for example, when our neighbors are sick). When we used surah Al-Fatihah, make sure that we are really-really aim to them.
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2. Al-Baqarah verse 286 :
‘God does not burden his soul except [with it] his capacity. It will have [the consequences of] what [good] it has earned, and it will bear what [consequences] it has gained. “Our Lord, do not blame us if we have forgotten or mistaken our Lord, and do not bear on us the burden of what You have placed on those before us, our Lord, and do not burden us with what we do not have the ability to bear and forgive us, and forgive us, and pity us, you are our protector, so give us victory over the unbelievers.”
In part ‘Rabbanaa laa tuakhidznaa inna sinnaa au akhta’na’, we can meant it for our spouse. We demand to Allah swt to forgive us and our spouse. We also ask Allah not to punish us if we forgot, and protect us from the unbelievers.
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3. Ali-Imran verse 193 :
‘Our Lord, indeed we have heard a caller calling to faith, [saying], ‘Believe in your Lord,’ and we have believed. Our Lord, so forgive us our sins and remove from us our misdeeds and cause us to die with the righteous.’
This verse means also for forgiveness to our spouse. But not only for forgiveness. This verse, if it is applied for Dua, have aim to keep ourselves in Allah’s path and cause us to die in good condition (husnul chatimah) or with the righteous (in verse called abrar)
4. “Allahummaghfirlii, warhamnii, wahdinii, wa ‘aafinii, warzuqnii.”
“O God, forgive me, have mercy on me, guidance on me, save me (from various diseases), and give me sustenance ”
Correlated with number three, this Dua instead for forgiveness, it can be for asking a guidance and protection from disease.
5. “Allahumma innii as-aluka ‘ilman naafi’a, wa rizqon thoyyibaa, wa ‘amalan mutaqobbalaa“.
This Dua is means for ourselves. When our husband left us, probably come a taught that after our husband passed away, we should have to struggle by ourselves. With this Dua we can keep our faith that Allah swt will help us in any situation and circumstances.
6. Latin Verses
O God, forgive him, take care of him, glorify his dwelling place, extend his grave, bathe him with ice water and dew, cleanse of all errors as a clean white cloth from the filth, substitute for him a better place of residence his stay, the better family of his family, the better partner of his partner and keep him from the torture of the grave and the torment of hell.”
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Why We Have to Praying our Deceased Husband?
There are so many reason why we have to pray our deceased husband. First is come from Surah Al-A’raf verse 55 :
‘Call your Lord with humility and personality; He does not like those who transgress/transgressor’
Exceeding the limits of prayer, it can ask for the ease of doing the unlawful, which in truth should not be asked. It may also be in the form of asking for something that God can not accomplish, such as asking not to die until the end of the world, or requesting to be removed from it human nature, such as the need to eat or drink, or to ask God to be shown the things God keeps secret, as ma’sum (sin free), or begging God to give him a child without a wife, and such a request, which includes the form of transcending the boundaries that God does not love, and God also does not love the one who asks.
Second is come from this hadith :
‘If there is a descendant of the prophet Adam who has died, then broken his deeds (in the world), except in 3 things, namely shadaqah jariyah, useful knowledge and the righteous son who prayed for him.’
Although these hadith are referred to his descendant, in this case, are our children. It is permittable to pray to our husband, with hope that our husband is in a good condition in life after world.
Third is came from Al-Baqarah verse 186 :
“And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me – indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me [by obedience] and believe in Me that they may be [rightly] guided.”
This verse means that we should pray to Him, and Allah will respond it.
Other Things About Praying Deceased Husband
Every death will cause sorrow for the people he left behind, whether it be the death of a parent, a child, a relative, a friend, as well as people we know. But the death of a husband has his own position in the hearts of wives, as the story of Hamnah bint Jahsy, when he was told of the death of his brother and uncle in battle, he was patient enough in reacting. However, once he heard the news of her husband’s death, Mushab bin Umair, he cried out in a loud voice. At that time Rasulullah said,
“Surely the woman’s husband has her own place in her heart.”
One condition that can be understood by many people, because 1) the husband is a loved one by his wife based on his own choice; 2) the husband is a friend share ideals and problems in his life, and 3) the other of course husband is the person responsible for all the necessities of wife and children’s life, (his son/daughter). And the sadness and the deep feelings of loss will be burdensome, if the husband is the only person who sustains the economy of the family and also the sudden death of death without any chance of his wife to prepare her mentally and financially to live her life after her departure.
This can happen for any woman with her figure as a wife. But as a Muslim woman who loves her husband and religion, of course have rules and examples of the Prophet Muhammad and his companions in addressing the rhythm of life like this. We will be able to put love in the right path so as to help us in taking attitude.
Although we have a deep love of the husband, does not make us have to mourn his death in ways that are prohibited by the Prophet because as a good wife of course we do not want our loved ones included in the group mentioned in the hadith of the Prophet,
“Indeed the deceased will be tortured in his grave due to the lamentation of his living family.”
A Muslim woman will never slip in the sadness of the sick and eventually make her soul becomes fragile. The awareness of responsibility as a mother who takes over the husband’s responsibility in educating and living his family, will make her to rise again hopefully only to Allah.
In addition, the death of the husband does not mean should end also our lives as a form of love and loyalty. Because love can we present in a more beautiful form after his departure. By striving to educate and nurture their children to be a pious person so that the prayers of their children and our prayers are united to flow the reward of the beloved husband in the universe, until finally reunited in eternal love in His beautiful heaven.
That was the explanation and example of Dua for praying our deceased husband. We sincerely hope that it can help us to move on without forgetting him.