Marriage is the greatest union for humankind in Islam. Besides rewarding you paradise, marriage also can complete our prayers and deeds. Marriage is a part of the faith and it reflects the devotion. Our Prophet (peace and blessing of Allah may be upon him) said that no matter how rich and prosperous we were, it meant nothing if we had no companion with whom we share anything.
“And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Salihoon (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves). If they be poor, Allah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allah is All-Sufficient for His creatures needs, All-Knowing (about the state of the people)” (Qur’an, 24:32)
However, there are some rights we need to concern which aren’t applied to bridegrooms as husbands, but brides as wives as well. These days, the rights of women as brides and wives are often neglected by society, therefore we are going to find out some rights that might be beneficial for us as brides and wives. Here there are:
- The Rights for Drowry
The payment of dowry for brides is obligated to men. It will become debt upon the bridegrooms as husbands if they can’t afford it unless the wives willingly give her right on it. Husbands should not try to take back what they’ve given, indeed it is told it the Qur’an:
“And give women their dowries as a gift. Then, if they are pleased to give some of it to you, consume it with good health and enjoyment.” (Qur’an 4:4)
2. The Rights for Having Secrets
“Verily among the worst people before Allah on the Day of Judgement is a man who approaches his wife sexually and she responds and then he spreads her secrets.” (Muslim, Ibn Abee Shaybah, Ahmad and others).
Wives have right not to be exposed. Husbands have responsibility not to spread the secrets of their wives, and vice versa. The secrets which their wives share with them are supposed to be kept privately. Those who can’t keep their words are the worst people for Allah.
3. The Rights for Being Supported
The brides have rights to be supported once they become wives. The rights include every aspect in her life, from the fundamental needs like clothes, foods, money, until affection as form of emotional support. Our Prophet (peace and blessing of Allah may be upon him) once said:
“That he should feed her whenever he eats and cloth her whenever he clothes himself, that he not hit her face, that he not call her ugly and that he not boycott her except within the house.” (Ibn Majah)
4. The Rights to Be Treated in a Proper Manner
We have rights to be treated in a proper manner, so does everyone else in this world. Therefore, wives also have rights to be treated properly in such a manner that contains kindness and modesty. It is good to treat wives well by blessing them with comfort, affection, as well as carefulness.
“…And consort with your wives in a goodly manner for, if you dislike them, it may well be that you dislike something which Allah makes a source of abundant good.” (Qur’an, 4:19)
5. The Rights to Be Helped
Deciding not to help wives doing house chores is the same like neglecting sunnah of our Prophet (peace and blessing of Allah may be upon him). Serving husbands is not compulsory for wives, especially when it becomes a burden. Our Prophet (peace and blessing of Allah may be upon him) always helped his wives by keeping himself busy serving his family at home. Aisha once said as quoted in the hadith below:
“He used to keep himself busy serving his family and when it was the time for prayer he would go for it.” (Bukhari)
6. The Rights to be Able Visiting Parents and Close Relatives
Wives might have to obey his husbands, but when it comes to visiting parents and close relatives, husbands might know how to position himself and give permission to wives. Husbands can forbid wives to visit their parents and other close relatives in particular reason, for example if the parents and relatives are infected with contagious diseases. The hadith below told:
“The husband has the right to prevent his wife from visiting her parents (when they are sick) and attending their funerals and the funeral of her child, but it is better not to do that.” (Shaafa’i)
7. The Rights Not To be Abused
Husbands should not harm their wives. They should not beat or strike them frequently. They should not give them injury.
“So beware of Allah regarding women for you have taken them as a trust from Allah and you have made their bodies lawful with the word of Allah. You have the right over them that they should not allow anyone on your furnishings who you dislike. If they do that, hit them in a way which causes no injury. And, they have the right over you to provision and clothing according to custom.” (Bukhari & Muslim)
8. The Rights to Have Separate Accommodation
The wives have rights to live only with their children and husbands if they don’t want to share houses with other relatives. Having separate accommodation with other member of family is better because private affair of couples will not be spoiled and will not cause too many conflicts.
“Everyone of you is a guardian and is responsible for his charge; the ruler is a guardian and is responsible for his subjects; the man is a guardian in his family and responsible for his charges; a woman is a guardian of her husband’s house and responsible for her charges; and the servant is a guardian of his master’s property and is responsible for his charge.” I definitely heard the above from the Prophet and think that the Prophet also said, “A man is a guardian of his father’s property and responsible for his charges; so everyone of you is a guardian and responsible for his charges. (Sahih Bukhari)
9. The Rights for Privacy
It is very recommended for both spouse not to discuss private affair in public. Therefore, each of them have rights of privacy to uphold as narrated in the hadith below:
“Everyone of you is a guardian and is responsible for his charge; the ruler is a guardian and is responsible for his subjects; the man is a guardian in his family and responsible for his charges; a woman is a guardian of her husband’s house and responsible for her charges; and the servant is a guardian of his master’s property and is responsible for his charge.” I definitely heard the above from the Prophet and think that the Prophet also said, “A man is a guardian of his father’s property and responsible for his charges; so everyone of you is a guardian and responsible for his charges.”(Sahih Bukhari)
10. The Rights to be Thanked
Every living muslim should be grateful for what they have. They also need to be thankful to each other for the good. It’s good to show our gratitude to our partner, as it is the sign of our affection. Our Prophet (peace and blessing of Allah may be upon him) once said:
“The most grateful people to Allah Blessed and High are the most thankful of them to others.” (Ahmad)
Besides those 10 rights of brides in Islam we need to concern, there are also some we need to highlight. Those are:
- the rights to be treated kindly
- the rights over physical relations
- the rights of justice
- the rights to enjoy each other
- the rights to be guided spiritually
- the rights to decide not to change name after marriage
- the rights to spend their own earned money
- the rights to get praising
- the rights to have separation as wished
- the rights for unconditional love
Finally, those are 20 rights of brides that should be concerned ad understood for the blessing from Allah. May we are always gathered with peace and mercy all the time.