Every Muslim couple who get married wished their marriage to last long for a lifetime. But in the end, all men could do is only planning, without even know what the future holds. There will time when your marriage is in danger and no solution seemed to be enough to resolve the problems. Allah SWT is indeed hates divorce the most. But it’s not forbidden in Islam.
“Of all the lawful things, divorce is the most hated by Allah.” - Prophet Muhammad (SAW)
However, divorce should be the last option to be consider when a problem arise in the marriage. As marriage is one of the greatest blessing in Islam, both should make en effort to make the marriage survive. But if divorce is unavoidable, here are the ways to divorce your wife in Islam.
1. Evaluation and Reconciliation
When a problem arise in a marriage, before thinking about divorce, a couple should evaluate themselves and try to reconcile. Rethink about the marriage again, is divorce really the best solution? Even though Allah hates divorce, but He never force His servants to survive a marriage that only cause harm to them.
“The parties should either hold together on equitable terms or separate with kindness.” - Al Baqara (2:229)
Also read: Laws of Rejecting Marriage in Islam
2. Arbitration
Before filing the divorce for real, it’s good to seek help from a third party. As divorce not only affects the couple, so the decision should be think carefully.
“And if you fear a breach between the two, appoint an arbiter from his relatives and an arbiter from her relatives. If they both desire reconciliation Allah will affect harmony between them. Verily Allah has full knowledge, and is aware of everything.” - An Nisa (4:35)
3. File for Divorce
If the divorce is unavoidable, it should be done in the right way. Husband and wife should not violating each other’s right. Including the dowry that is fully become the right of the wife.
“It is not lawful for you (men) to take back any of your gifts except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah. There is no blame on either of them if she give something for her freedom. These are the limits ordained by Allah so do not transgress them” - Al Baqara (2:229)
Also read: Importance of Marriage in Islam
4. The Iddah Time
Before the divorce is finalized, the wife will enter the time of Iddah. It is meant to see whether the wife is pregnant or not. If she does, the divorce will be continued after she gives birth. But if the three period of month passed safely without reconciliation, the the divorce is finalized.
5. Custody of the Child
Children are the victims of their parents’ divorce. So that the custody issue should be done in a peaceful way to not harm the child more. As there are many different views regarding custody in Islam, the local law should be taken into account too.
Also read: How to Prepare Yourself for Marriage in Islam
6. Finalizing the Divorce
“When you divorce women and they fulfill the term of their iddat, either take them back on equitable terms or set them free on equitable terms; but do not take them back to injure them, (or) to take undue advantage. If anyone does that, he wrongs his own soul…” - Al Baqara (2:231)
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Type of Divorce in Islam
There are three types of divorce in Islam that every Muslim should know:
1. Revocable Divorce
It’s the clearest form of divorce where the husband explicitly said the words and reasons. Once the husband said, “I divorce you,” the wife has automatically entering the Iddah time, which lasts for three menstrual cycle. During the waiting period, the husband could revoke the divorce by taking his wife back through his nikaah or physically expressing them by hugging or kissing, and having intercouse with her.
2. Irrevocable Divorce
This divorce happen when the husband never explicitly said about divorce, but his words are rather ambiguous and could mean something else. Since the words are vague, the divorce or Talaaqul Baa’in only happen if the husband did have the intention to divorce his wife. Once it happen, the wife is in her Iddah time. But the husband can take her back through nikaah.
Also read: Things to Know About Marriage in Islam
3. Permanently Irrevocable Divorce
The Talaaqul Mughallazah or permanently irrevocable divorce is when the husband has issued three divorce, including the two above. If this happen, then the nikaah is broken. The husband cannot take his wife back unless she has been through the Iddah period, get married to another man dan has marriage life with him. The first husband could remarry the wife when the second husband divorce her or passed away and the wife has passed her Iddah time.
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How to Revoke Divorce from Wife
During the evaluation and reconciliation period, a husband could retract his decision and take his wife back. However, there are several ways to revoke the divorce in Islam, according to the type of divorce.
- If the husband has just explicitly said that he is divorcing his wife by saying “I divorce you, then the revoking methods is really easy.
- The marriage could be reconciled by taking his wife again in nikaah. Making physical contacts by hugging or kissing her, and doing the sexual intercourse with her.
- If the husband never explicitly said divorce but rather using vague words that can lead to any meaning, then divorce is not valid unless the husband intend to do.
- If so, then the husband can revoke the divorce by taking his wife to nikaah once again without having to wait the Iddah time.
- There are three steps in talaq, and when the husband has said talaq or divorce three times, separation is unavoidable.
- The way to revoke the marriage is rather complicated. The wife should be married to another man, living with him, and when the second husband divorce her or passed away, then the first husband may married the ex wife again after she passed through her Iddah time.
Not only because Allah SWT hates divorce the most, but it also brings no good to Muslim couple as well. Let’s hope that we may never have to get through the ways how to divorce your wife in Islam as we just read from above.