Not only considered as one of the most sacred thing in Islam, marriage is also a never ending learning process for both the husband and the wife. Uniting to people under the same roof is not easy, and that is why husband and wife fights a lot day by day. Due to the characteristic different, husband and wife involved to argument. How they behave in the argument matters the most to find the right solution.
Even though every wife wished to have a romantic husband, but men would always have their difficult side. When this arise, a wife should know how to deal with it, for the sake of the marriage. Even though sometimes the husband could be difficult, there must be many good things about him as well.
Here are the ways on how to deal with difficult husband in Islam:
1. Communicate Well with Him
Every problem should be communicate to find the best solution. If your husband happen to have a difficult character, then it’s challenging enough for you. One thing to remember is you must know him very well. Avoid things that could trigger his anger and causing him to explode. Tell him everything you have done or you have going to do. Make sure you involve him in every decision making.
Also read: How to Have a Happy Marriage in Islam
2. Treat Him with Kindness
You have chosen your husband as your lifetime partner. If you are devoting your life to him, Allah SWT will reward you with Jannah later. No matter how difficult you husband is, treat him only with kindness. It will soften his heart over time, seeing the sincerity and love in you.
“And live with them in honour and in kindness.” – An Nisa (4:19)
3. Don’t Lash Out Your Emotion to Him
Dealing with difficult husband some time will make you run out of patience and explode in anger. You should never do this since it’s only making things even worse. You will have an unnecessary big fight with your husband, and the aftermath is not good for the family.
“And the wives have rights over the husbands – similar to those of the husbands over them – in that which is reasonable. But men have a degree over them.” – Al Baqara (2:228)
Also read: How to Give Pleasure to Husband
4. Be Patient with Him
Allah SWT is with those who is patient. The difficult husband you marry is the soulmate that Allah SWT has given to you. Things may difficult now, but you never know what the future holds. All you need to do is patiently persevere.
“Patiently persevere! Indeed Allaah is with those who patiently persevere.” – Al Anfaal (6:46)
“Only those who patiently persevere shall receive their reward in full without reckoning.” – Az Zumar (39:10)
5. Seek Help from Allah
The best of helper is indeed Allah SWT, and He has solutions for every problem you face. Seek help and make dua to Allah, ask Him to soften the stone heart of your husband. Under the Allah’s permission, your husband would slowly change. As nothing is ever impossible for Allah.
“Indeed whosoever fears Allaah, obeys Him, turns away from disobedience and patiently perseveres, then Allaah does not cause the rewards of the doers of good to be lost.” – Yusuf (12:90)
6. Reflect on Yourself
What cause your husband so difficult? Try to look from the other side. It could be not just your husband’s traits, but it also could be you who is at fault. As a wife, you surely has many flaws. Maybe the way you serve him is not satisfying enough for him. Indeed, Allah loves those who has a good character.
“Righteousness is good character.”
Also read: Dua to Get a Good Husband in Islam
7. Be Positive in front of Him
Never look down, sulky, or frowning in front of your husband. Your negative attitude will affects him negatively and make him in a bad mood. If you have problem, talk about it in a peaceful way. If there’s something you don’t like about your husband, talk to him slowly. Don’t hold everything in. Be cheerful in front of your husband because happiness is contagious.
The Prophet said, “Do not consider any good action as insignificant- even if it is meeting your brother with a cheerful face.”
8. Do Your Duty As a Wife
Do your obligation as a wife with your best, and let your husband notice your sincerity. Over time, he will be feeling so bad because he has not treat you well enough, at he changes his difficult character for you. The one who persevere is the winner in the end.
Also read: Muslim Wife Duties for Her Husband
9. Compliment Him Sincerely
Your husband has been working very hard for the family. Be grateful to him and compliment him for his hard work. If he’s about to angry, hearing your compliments may soothe his heart as he knows that you appreciating him.
10. Behave in a Good Manner
Behave to your husband in a good manner. Talk to him in a pleasant voice, never shout to him nor using the harsh words while speaking.
Also read: How to Make Husband Romantic in Islam
Ways to Please Your Husband
Do some ways to please your husband so that he won’t be that difficult anymore:
- Show your affection to him. Kiss and hug him often, especially when he’s going to work and after work. Give him compliments and shower him with small gifts.
- Dress yourself beautifully in front of him. Seeing you looking pretty can make him happy. Keep yourself clean and use perfume all the time when you’re with him.
- Joke with him a lot, but never insult him. Joking is a good way to calm down the temper and make things more enjoyable.
- Respect him and don’t harass him. Also never talk anything bad about him yo your parents or other people for worse.
- Appreciate him for the hard work he has done for the family. It may be a small thing, but it means so much to him.
Those are all the ways on how to deal with difficult husband in Islam. May all of us can be the best wife for our husband. Amiin.