17 Points on How to Choose the Right Partner in Islam
Marriage is another step in life that everyone will be take one day. It’s not an easy thing after all, especially when we are about to make decision to get married. Because marriage is a sacred thing that we only do once for a lifetime, we should be really careful.
After getting married, husband and wife will affect another. That is why some people change a lot when they married. It’s because they are influenced by their partner’s character. So that choosing the right partner is crucial before deciding to get married.
How to choose the right partner in Islam? Here are the things that you can do:
1. Don’t Look for Them in Social Media
In the era of internet and social media, people tend to look for a partner in one of those platform. But this is not recommended in Islam, because you won’t be able to choose the right partner based on social media only. You never know whether that person is truly Muslim or not, because all people could be everyone in social media.
2. Be Friend with Good People
If you are looking for a good partner, then look for them among good people. You need to be friend with good people and always surround yourself with them. When you are diligently praying in the mosque, Inshaa Allah you will meet someone who is as diligent as you in praying.
Also read: How to Make Someone Interested in Islam
3. Be Realistic in Finding a Partner
As nobody is perfect, never expect your partner to be. You will never find perfection in human, as it only belongs to Allah SWT. Accept that your future partner may have some shortage. Indeed two persons are united under marriage to complete each other and covering the imperfection in one another.
4. Look for Them in Good Places
Where do you usually hang out? If you are someone who enjoy dancing at the night club, how could you expect a partner who is close to Allah? Find the right partner in the right place. As your partner is the mirror of yourself, be someone that you want your partner to be.
Also read: How to Make Life Easy in Islam
5. Ask for Your Parents’ Advice
Marriage is not only for you, but your parents will be affected by it as well. As your happiness is also their happiness, ask for their advice on choosing the right partner. Your parents are who have more experience in life than you, so they can read someone’s characteristic better.
6. Make Sure You are Ready
Before choosing the right partner, you have to ask yourself whether you are ready to get married or not. The partner you choose surely have some negative sides that may surprise you in the future, and you have to be ready when it shows sometime.
Also read: How to Treat Maid in Islam
7. Look Into Yourself
Everyone want the best for their partner. But first, you have to look into yourself too. Are you good enough of a person so that you deserve a partner as you wish them to be?
8. Make Dua to Allah
Who knows what’s best for you but Allah SWT? Make dua to Allah SWT to help you choosing the right partner. Allah will help you through some clues in your dream or the assurement in your heart. For what Allah choose for you is never wrong and it is the best thing could happen to you.
Also read: How to Treat Elders in Islam
9. Always Think Positively
Always have a good prejudice to Allah SWT that He has prepared the best for you. Including the partner of your life. Never think that you are choosing the wrong person. Someday you will find the reason why Allah sent that person to you.
10. See Their Character and Not Something Else
In life, people often dazzled by material things. They forget that wealth could be obtained by hard work, and they forget what’s more important: character. It is what define someone. If you want to choose the right partner for you, look at their character and nothing else.
Also read: How to Cure Loneliness in Islam
More Ways to Choose the Right Partner in Islam
- As marriage is one of the sacred ritual in Islam, set your purpose and intention to get married. This has a big impact to who you will choose as a life partner to get married with.
- Make sure you know what qualities you want your partner to has. As reported by Abu Hurairah, the Prophet (SAW) said, “Men choose women for four reasons: for their money, for their rank, for their beauty and for their religion, but marry one who is religious and you will succeed” – Bukhari & Muslim
- The best of partner is those who know how to lower their gaze. “And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils over their bosoms…” – An Nur (24:31)
- It’s okay to ask other people for help in choosing the right partner for you. Remember other’s capacity only to give advice, not taking part in the decision making. To find a partner that is faithful to Islam, seek for help from a person who is very trustworthy as Muslim.
- Seek for information about a person from a third party view. It can be someone who knows them well and someone you can trust. By listening from the other people’s view, it may help us to make the decision.
- If you have finally interested in someone and about to meet them, avoid meeting them just the two of you. Ask another friend to come with you to avoid the evil whispers of Shaytaan.
- Speak only what is necessary to them and to the point. As you are not mahram yet, speaking for a long time may arise your sexual desire and it could lead you to a negative direction.
So those are how to choose the right partner in Islam. After reading all the things above, now you have guides to help you to find the best partner to spend the rest of your life with.