Having a happy marriage is a dream for all couples around the world because it may become the first and last marriage for the couples so it has a special meaning for them. In addition, it is a holy and sacred thing that must be handled by the couples.
However, Allah commands to His servants to keep it simple and not luxurious so we must make some adjustments so the marriage can become the best marriage but still simple and everyone can gain the happiness that we share when we are having the marriage.
And among His Signs (is) that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you love and mercy. Indeed, in that surely (are) Signs for a people who reflect. (Ar-Rum 30:21)
Here is presented how to have a happy marriage in Islam.
1. Do Istikharah Prayer
Doing istikharah prayer is recommended by Allah especially when we have a plan to do something like marriage. By doing this we ask Allah to give a happy marriage and smooth the process that we will go through in the marriage and the life after the marriage.
“Rasulullah shallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam taught us the Istikharah prayer to decide everything as it teaches the Qur’an. The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said, If anyone of you has a plan to do something, should perform the sunnah (istikharah) prayer two raka’at, then recite the prayer: O Allah, I actually ask for the right choice to You with Your knowledge and I plead for strength to You (to overcome my problems) with Your Power. (HR. al-Bukhari, Abu Dawud, at-Tirmidzi, an-Nasa-i, Ibnu Majah, Ahmad, al-Baihaqi)
See also: Virtues of Dhuha Prayer
2. Have a strong determination
We need to have a strong determination when we are having a marriage. It is because we have a marriage in the name of Allah and do what He had already commanded to us. In addition, we will gain more confidence in having the marriage with the strong determination.
So set your face to the religion upright. Nature (made by) Allah (upon) which He has created mankind [on it]. No change (should there be) in the creation (of) Allah. That (is) the religion the correct, but most men (do) not know. (Ar-Rum 30:30)
Whoever married, he has completed half of his religion. And let him piety in Allah in the care of the other half “. (HR Thabrani and Hakim)
3. Already match with the future wife
When we are having a marriage, we must know our future wife deeply and understand her character. We must have already known the weakness and strongness of her so we will not have a regret in the future that can cause a divorce and a disharmony in the household.
Women are married for four things: Because of her wealth, because of her descendants, because of her beauty, and because of her religion. Then you should choose because of her religion because otherwise, you will be wretched. “ (HR Bukhari 6: 123, Muslim 4: 175)
See also: The Importance of Marriage in Islam
4. Maintain the health
We need to maintain our health when having a marriage because it is dangerous if we let our health go down in the marriage. The marriage takes a long time and drains our health and energy so, in order to go through all this process, we need to keep healthy.
5. Tawakkal to Allah
To have a happy marriage, we need to tawakkal to Allah and only trust in Him. He will make it easier for us and provide us the best marriage that He has already planned because the only one who knows the best for the servants is Allah.
And He will provide for him from where not he thinks. And whoever puts his trust upon Allah, then He (is) sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah (will) accomplish His purpose. Indeed, Allah has set for everything a measure. (At-Talaq 65:3)
See also: Dangers of Hedonism in Islam
6. Prepare the marriage and keep it modest
We need to prepare the marriage with the good preparation so we can make ourselves and the other people that attend the marriage happily.
In having the marriage we need to see our ability and wealth. Do not force ourselves to pursue the glamor and glitter of the party without considering the more important and fundamental things in life.
Marriage is important, but meeting the needs of everyday life after being officially married is much more important. Then the party should be held according to ability and do not need to force to create luxury.
7. Prepare an affordable dowry
One example of religious teachings that facilitate the implementation of marriage is in the affairs of dowry. Islam teaches that dowry doesn’t need to be a burden and make difficulties in its completion.
Dowry should be given by the men to the women in accordance with the ability and wealth of them.
The Prophet has said, “The best of women are the most demanding of the dowry.” (HR Ibnu Hibban). He also said, “The best dowry is the lightest”.
Umar ibnu Khattab once advised, “Do not overdo in giving dowries to women, because the Prophet married and married his daughter no more than a dowry of four hundred dirhams. If you elevate the value of the dowry there is a benefit to the glory of women in the world or add to his piety, of course, the Messenger of Allah was the first to do it “.
See also: Majority of the Month of Prophet Muhammad SAW
8. Open-mindedness and mutual communication
An open attitude between couples is a very important thing in the relationship, especially when having a marriage. It is because there are many preparations that need to be made between the couples. Being open at all times is good in terms of overcoming a problem in the marriage.
Communication between the couples is also important because without any communication it would be impossible to create a family full of intimacy and mutual open attitude between couples.
In addition, there will be no problems that can not be solved by keeping the communication.
So because (of) Mercy from Allah, you dealt gently with them. And if you had been rude (and) harsh (at) [the] heart, surely they (would have) dispersed from around you. Then pardon [from] them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. Then when you have decided, then put trust on Allah. Indeed, Allah loves the ones who put trust (in Him). (Al-Imran 3:159)
9. Invite friends, family, and relatives
We must invite friends, family, and relatives because marriage is something that may be only one time in this life. By doing this, we can share the happiness that we feel to them and show our gratitude because we can have a marriage with their supports.
Without them, a marriage will be felt lonely and quiet. In addition, they can help us to have a happy marriage like giving advice, help the process of the marriage, etc.
“If anyone of you is invited (to attend the walimah), then please fulfill the invitation, whether the wedding or any other event.” (HR Al-Bukhari no. 5173, Muslim no. 1429, Ahmad 2/146, Abu Dawud no. 3738, and al-Baihaqi 7/262)
10. Follow Prophet’s way and avoid Satan
We need to follow Prophet’s way in order to have a happy marriage. There are many stories that narrated the way of Prophet’s marriage and how happy they were when having the marriage.
In addition, there will be many temptations from Satan to destroy our marriage so we need to avoid it and always stay at Allah’s side.
O you who believe[d]! Enter into Islam completely, and (do) not follow footsteps (of) the Shaitaan. Indeed, he (is) for you an enemy open. (Al-Baqarah 2:208)
11. Invite ustadz and listen to the sermon
To have a happy marriage, we can invite ustadz so he can give us a sermon and lecture that may be useful for us in the future. In addition, it will make us aware that the marriage is still the beginning to get closer to Allah.
The sermon from the ustadz can become a lesson for the invited guest in the marriage so we all can get rewards too by listening to it.
And when is recited the Quran, then listen to it and pay attention so that you may receive mercy. (Al-A’raf 7:204)
See also: Importance of Haidh in Islam
More Ways to Have a Happy Marriage in Islam
Here is presented more ways to have a happy marriage in Islam.
- Do it at the right time and do not rush it
- Give a present to the future wife
- Do the custom from the couples
- Control the emotion
- Have sufficient money to handle all process of the marriage
- Don’t overthink too much
That’s all how to have a happy marriage in Islam. Hope we can do it in the future and the marriage will become the special one in our life.