After marriage, there are certainly rights and obligations of both partners, in order to create a family with sakinah, mawaddah, and rahmah. The following is the the duties of a married woman in Islam to her husband:
- Obedience to the husband
It is the primary points of the duties of a woman since from the marriage time. A woman should obey what their husband order as long as not in contrary with the Shariah (such as not wearing hijab or not doing obligatory prayer). She should do this and not complain about her husband to her parents and stand behind the doors. The prophet (PBUH) once said:
“The prayer of two people hardly above their heads are the runaway slave and disobedience wife”
see also: How to live a Happy Married Life
- Being ready to meet her husband’s needs
If the husband want to fulfill the needs (for sexual matter), as long as it is not crossing the line of Sharia (when the wife in period state or post-partum bleeding), a woman must not refuse the husband call. The Prophet Mohammed said:
“If the man called his wife to bed, and she refused, the angels will curse her until the morning”
So that the woman is not allowed to doing non obligatory fasting without permission of the husband. As the Messenger of Allah said:
“A woman can’t keep the fasts-Sunnah in the presence of her husband without his permission” (Bukhari)
- A Woman should not go without permission from her husband
As in the quote of hadith:
“Woman who believe in Allah is not allowed to leave the house against the wishes of her husband”.
The husband has the right whom the women allow to chat with his wife and whom not. When a woman plan to go out, make sure the husband will not angry. On the other hand, the husband should not restrict the freedom of his wife for no reason such as going tp the mosque, in visiting her parents, and in places where there is no haram.
- Protecting her husband’s property in his absence.
She is not allowed to give something to somebody else without his husband permission. It is only permitted to give any little to other people when the husband allow the wife doing it. It is narrated by Abu Haurayrah, said that the Messenger of Allah was asked:
“’What is the best wife?’ he answered ‘The one who pleases him when he looks at her, obeys him when he tells something and is not contrary to her husband if he does not like that (on how the wife spends his property)’”
- Always thanks to her husband whatever he gives.
No need to complain for whatever the husband gives to the wife. If a woman always says thanks to her husband even it is only the small givem then the husband will be pleased to do it more often. No need comparing to other husband or other men for example, because everyone is not so perfect.
6. Respecting to the parents and relative of husband.
A wife should honor the parent’s of husband as she honor to her own parents. Be grateful because they actually raised your husband until the adulthood. As the Prophet said:
“Whoever does not respect the older and does not spare the younger – not of us”.
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7. Doing the home chores
A woman should do the domestic job such as washing, or cleaning the house. The Messenger of God said:
“A woman is responsible for her husband’s home. She will be asked about it” (Bukhari)
8. The Wife Should Protect the Auraat
She have to protect the body except face and the palms and avoid from other men’s staring. She also prohibitted to undress except in the house of her husband. Because all the beauty of wife is belongs only to her husband.
9. Prohibited to Reveal the Secret of Her Husband.
The wife must not talk about the secret side of her husband to other people, as well forbidden to disclose the intimate between the two couple. As the Messenger of Allah said that:
“The lowest before God on Jugdment Day, will be a man, would be alone with his wife, and a woman would be alone with her husband, and telling secrets to each other” (Muslim)
10. Being Engaged in Education of Children
The wife should responsible with the education of children and teaching the fundamental of religion. Just be patient in teaching the children. If a husband has children of former wife, they must be well-treated.
12. Reducing the Mahar (Dowry)
Islam advise to a piety woman to lighten her future husband in paying a dowry as the Messenger of Allah said:
“The best woman is the woman who ask the least dowry.” (Narrated by Thabarani).
See also: How to Propose in Islam
13. Helping to Establish the Spiritual Life of Husband
The wife is the person most responsible for straightening the husband’s behavior that is not in line with Islamic Shari’a
14. Helping the Husband for Jihad
Wife must be willing to let her husband go for Jihad Fisabilillah (join the battle to defend the Islam).
15. Dress Up To Excite a Husband
A wife should dress up and make up only dedicate to her husband. Do not let other man to touch part of the woman’s body for it cause the husband will be disgusted at her.
16. Putting Husband’s Interest Above Her Own Parents ‘s Interests
Once a woman is married, she has to obey her husband instead of her parents anymore.
17. Following the Husband’s Wherever He Stays
The wife must to follow the place provided by her husband. Unless, the environment in which it turns out to damage the morals or unsafe both in terms of building and physical safety , then the wife has the right to refuse. As quoed in Quran 65:6 (At Talaq)
“Lodge them [in a section] of where you dwell out of your means and do not trouble them in order to oppress them. And if they should be pregnant, then spend on them until they give birth. And if they breastfeed for you, then give them their payment and confer among yourselves in the acceptable way; but if you are in discord, then there may breastfeed by another woman.”
18. Taking a Husband’s Property With His Permission
Taking the husband’s property is often done by the wife for a variety of reasons, such as not enough money. The such reason is confirmed by Rasulullah SAW as long to fulfil the houshold expenses and not for other purposes. The wife should not take the property of her husband without permission, except to cover the reasonable expenses.
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19. Spending for Charity from the Husband’s Property With His Permission
From Abu Umamah Al-Bahili, narrated
“I heard the Messenger of Allah say:’ A wife should not spend for charity purposes from her home without her husband’s permission’. The Companions asked “O Messenger of Allah, what about food?’ The Messenger said ‘That food is our best treasure’” (Ibn Majah).
20. Ask the Permission to Husband When a Wife Going Out
The Messenger of Allah said:
“Any wife who leaves her house without her permission, then she is in the wrath of Allah until she back home or her husband gives it up.” (HR Khatib from Anas).
21. Not Destroying for Her Husband Leadership
As Quoted in Quran 4: 34 (An Nisaa):
“Men are leaders to women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband’s] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance – [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand”.
Other quoting about the leadership of the husband is in a hadith:
“Perish to the men who obey the women!” (HR. Ahmad dan Thabrani)
See also: Women’s Role in Islam Culture
22. Always Look Gently at the Husband
The wife must have gentle attitude to the husband, it means that the wife is mean to be pleasant, smiling face, open minded and courteous to her husband even though her husband is getting angry. Gentle attitude is a big role in correcting the wrong husband’s behavior.
23. Accompanying the Husband Having Meal Until Finish
The Prophet PBUH gives the guidance practically and easy to do. Accompany your husbands in the meal time, whether lunch or dinner. The wife should be appropriate to accompany the husband having meal in the house, so that the family will grow harmoniousIy.
24. Accompanying the Husband Having Meal Until Finish
The Prophet PBUH gives the guidance practically and easy to do. Accompany your husbands in the meal time, whether lunch or dinner. The wife should be appropriate to accompany the husband having meal in the house, so that the family will grow harmoniousIy.
25. Be Open with the Husband
Build trust in the marriage by sharing your thoughts and feelings freely to say to the husband. Ask the opinion from the husband. The relationship will grow in strength and health if you are honest each other. The wife shoudl communicate her expectations to the husband.
26. Showing the Appreciation
Always showing the gratitude of the wife for everything the husband do for her. When the husband accomplish something he is proud of, congratulate him and tell him that he made you as a wife proud. Affirm their feelings by leaving them love notes and thank-you notes.
27. Ask Husband for Spending the Time Together
A good of having fun together build a happy partnership. Find what the couple both like such as go for trip together, watching movie, games, or adventure with the husband. The wife can set the romantic dinner along with candle light and rose to spark the love again.
28. Taking Care to Husband
In the name of love to her husband, a wife must be willing to take care her husband even it is small thing such as to polish his hair, cut his s nails, and cut off his mustache / beard. As quoted in the hadith if a wife polish his hair, cuts his nails, and cuts off his mustache, she will receive the water of heaven by God, her grave become a beautiful garden, and the sakaratul (the soul pull off the body) will be lightened.
Others (29-32)
That are the duties of a moslem married woman to her husband. Another duties of a moslem married woman are:
- Ask Forgiveness to husband : If the woman finds out that his husband is not satisfied, or done something berfore man, she have to ask for forgiveness.
- Not Allowing People Enter the House Except the Husband Permit. : Never allowing people enter in the house whom the husband never wanted to see in his house. Moreover, never allow men enter the house when the husband absents.
- A Wife Should be Pleasure to Her Husband : Wife should always be calming, tastefully, charm and live spirit if for her husband, such jewelry that always attached to a woman.
- Willing to Expect the Baby of the Husbands : The pregnant woman legally has the high honor according to Allah
Thus, Muslim Wife Duties for Her Husband, hopefully it will give enough information about the moslem married woman obligatory.