There is a beautiful quote we often hear that ‘my home is my paradise’ or ‘my home is my castle’. It’s not just a motto, rather it has deep meaning. And the word ‘home’ here does not refer to a home as a building in its physical appearance, but in the context of its atmosphere or situation created by its occupant, which is family.
The concept of family is divided into two. They are nuclear and extended family. Nuclear family consists of father, mother, and children. On the other hand, extended family has broader scope, so it consists of father, mother, children, grandparents, uncle, aunt, and so on.
Except in their quantities, there is no difference between nuclear and extended family. All kinds of family, normally and are supposed to, share the same things; compassion, care, and protection. It is because those things are needed by all humans as ordinary creature. Thus, we need to adapt blissful ways on how to treat a family in Islam.
Family is the first environment we recognize since we were born into this world. In family, we learn values of life and basic skills which will be greatly useful before joining the broader community, which is society. That’s why it can be said family determines the civilization. When there grows good families with strong principle, then a good civilization will be created, and so the other way around.
Being a stable family that fully support each other is important. To achieve it, we can implement lovely ways how to keep family ties. However, the main point is how to make togetherness in family everlasting and will never meet its end. Is this possible? Of course. We can achieve it by focusing to Allah what we do in this life, and set paradise as our goal.
Those who have gained good deeds will be gathered in paradise, no matter they are family or not, since the one determining it is the level of taqwa. Therefore, if we want to be with our family again in the Hereafter, we have to do amar ma’ruf nahi munkar to them. Support them to do good deeds, and remind them not to do bad deeds.
كُنتُمْ خَيْرَ أُمَّةٍ أُخْرِجَتْ لِلنَّاسِ تَأْمُرُونَ بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ وَتَنْهَوْنَ عَنِ ٱلْمُنكَرِ وَتُؤْمِنُونَ بِٱللَّهِ ۗ وَلَوْ ءَامَنَ أَهْلُ ٱلْكِتَٰبِ لَكَانَ خَيْرًا لَّهُم ۚ مِّنْهُمُ ٱلْمُؤْمِنُونَ وَأَكْثَرُهُمُ ٱلْفَٰسِقُونَ
“You are the best nation produced [as an example] for mankind. You enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and believe in Allah. If only the People of the Scripture had believed, it would have been better for them. Among them are believers, but most of them are defiantly disobedient.” (Ali-Imran: 110)
However, those efforts are not enough. Allah is the one who can change the hearts of His creatures. How hard we try to change others, it will be in vain without Allah’s help. Thus, we need to pray as the companion of our efforts.
There are plenty of du’a for family mentioned in Al-Qur’an and sunna. But, to make them easier to apply, this article will present some best du’as for family in Islam which are quite easy to memorize.
- Surah Al-Furqan Verse 74
It is a precious thing to be in a family that has strong connection with Allah. Everyone must desire it. In this kind of family, anyone can be example for others. Children certainly learn from parents, and parents also can learn from their children.
وَٱلَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَٰجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّٰتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَٱجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا
“…Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.” (Al-Furqan: 74)
- Al-Baqarah Verse 201
This du’a is probably always mentioned at the end of our shalat. It includes the things that most humans need; the goodness in this world and in the Hereafter, and the protection from the punishment of the Fire. What a perfect prayer.
وَمِنْهُم مَّن يَقُولُ رَبَّنَآ ءَاتِنَا فِى ٱلدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةً وَفِى ٱلْءَاخِرَةِ حَسَنَةً وَقِنَا عَذَابَ ٱلنَّارِ
“… Our Lord, give us in the world [that which is] good and in the Hereafter [that which is] good and protect us from the punishment of the Fire.” (Al-Baqarah: 201)
- Ibrahim Verse 40
There must come a time when we or our families do not have any spirit to do observance, such as shalat (prayer). But, we have to fight ourselves and ask for Allah’s guidance. We also need to pray and ask Allah to accept our supplication.
رَبِّ ٱجْعَلْنِى مُقِيمَ ٱلصَّلَوٰةِ وَمِن ذُرِّيَّتِى ۚ رَبَّنَا وَتَقَبَّلْ دُعَآءِ
“My Lord! Make me steadfast in (observing) the Prayer, and also my children, our Lord. And do accept my supplication.” (Ibrahim: 40)
- Ali-Imran Verse 38
Our children will become our successor. They must be better than ourselves, for Islam forbids us to leave weak generation behind us. We can apply the du’a below to ask good offspring from Allah, the du’a that was said by Prophet Zakariya.
هُنَالِكَ دَعَا زَكَرِيَّا رَبَّهُۥ ۖ قَالَ رَبِّ هَبْ لِى مِن لَّدُنكَ ذُرِّيَّةً طَيِّبَةً ۖ إِنَّكَ سَمِيعُ ٱلدُّعَآءِ
“…My Lord, grant me from Yourself a good offspring. Indeed, You are the Hearer of supplication.” (Ali-Imran: 38)
- Ibrahim Verse 41
Allah orders us to always respect our parents, as parents place the third position in our lives after Allah and the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). Besides, Allah’s blessing is upon parents’ blessing. Ridhallah fi ridhal walidain. As children, it is a must to implement manners of children towards parents. The easiest thing we can do as the form of our devotion to our parents is by praying for them.
We also have duty to pray for Muslims all over the world, since we are united as one in this religion. The happiness of other Muslims is our happiness, and so the sorrow of other Muslims will also become our sorrow.
رَبَّنَا ٱغْفِرْ لِى وَلِوَٰلِدَىَّ وَلِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَوْمَ يَقُومُ ٱلْحِسَابُ
“Our Lord, forgive me and my parents and the believers the Day the account is established.” (Ibrahim: 41)
- Al-Ahqaf Verse 15
The other things we should also ask from Allah are gratefulness for anything Allah has given to us and the capability to always do good deeds in order to gain virtues of gratefulness in Islam. There is a proverb that people are never satisfied. But, in Islam, we are supposed to be grateful for uncountable things in our lives. Gratefulness does not come because we are happy, indeed we will be happy because we fill our lives with gratefulness.
رَبِّ أَوْزِعْنِىٓ أَنْ أَشْكُرَ نِعْمَتَكَ ٱلَّتِىٓ أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَىَّ وَعَلَىٰ وَٰلِدَىَّ وَأَنْ أَعْمَلَ صَٰلِحًا تَرْضَىٰهُ وَأَصْلِحْ لِى فِى ذُرِّيَّتِىٓ ۖ إِنِّى تُبْتُ إِلَيْكَ وَإِنِّى مِنَ ٱلْمُسْلِمِينَ
“…My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims.” (Al-Ahqaf: 15)
Allah will always know what we need and what the best for us even if we do not ask for it. However, praying is a kind of communication between humans and Allah, and one of the examples is duas for family in Islam as discussed above.
While praying, still we should mind manners of praying in Islam. By praying, we show that we really need Allah. Because Allah says in Surah Al-Ghafir verse 60 that those who never pray to Allah are called as arrogant.
وَقَالَ رَبُّكُمُ ٱدْعُونِىٓ أَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْ ۚ إِنَّ ٱلَّذِينَ يَسْتَكْبِرُونَ عَنْ عِبَادَتِى سَيَدْخُلُونَ جَهَنَّمَ دَاخِرِينَ
“And Your Lord says, ‘Call upon Me; I will respond to you.’ Indeed, those who disdain My worship will enter Hell [rendered] contemptible.” (Ghafir: 60)