Marriage is a thing that Allah SWT has declared as half of the religion. It has many benefit as well, but before doing so, you need to think about the ways on how to ask for marriage in Islam:
1. Do the Istikharah First
Nobody know what’s better for you other than Allah SWT. So before you make one of the most important decision in your life, ask for guidance from Allah SWT. Meet him in the middle of the night through the Istikharah prayer, which means you are confessing to him that you are in doubt, lost, and need Him to help you making the right decision. Allah will gives His helping hand to whoever ask for it.
Also read: Law of Woman Propose to Marriage in Islam
2. Plan the Proposal
Plan carefully and thoroughly how would you propose to the girl you love. Seek the knowledge from the previous proposal in Islam. The most common methods to propose nowadays come from Ali ibn Abi Thalib (RA), who came to the father of the girl he loved which happened to be the Prophet (SAW) himself. He brings his only belongings to propose for Fatimah, his daughter.
3. Prepare the Talk
As you are going to ask for marriage, so that your talk must be prepared beforehand. What you will say to convince the girl’s father to entrust his daughter to you. He might ask you questions too, regarding how can you provide the daughter that he love dearly and making sure that your will never put her into any hardship in the future.
Also read: How to Propose in Islam Before Marriage
4. Be Serious About Marriage
Marriage is not a game so don’t treat it like one. Be serious and mature about marriage. According to a hadith by Tirmidhi, the Prophet told Muslims not to make a joke and playing with anything related to marriage. In Islam, joking is Sunnah but it can be haraam if someone is joking over some serious matters, and marriage is one of them.
5. Be Confident About the Decision
You have decide to propose a girl you love, never once doubting the decision or hesitating to take the real steps. Be confident about the decision you make and no matter what, continue your proposal to that girl. Come to her father and tell him the intention of yours. Say that you have ready to devote your life to his daughter for the rest of your life and you are sure that you can provide her with all she needs.
Also read: Islamic Rules for Engagement
6. Get Ready to Face Your Family
Now is time to put action to your family. Of course you have to talk about the proposal you gonna make to them. Get ready to face many questions and doubt. Such as that your family want to wait a bit more and they need more preparation. Convince your family that they and you don’t need to delay the proposal and that you can do it right away the next day.
7. Stay Humble During the Proposal
You may be on the peak of your confidence when asking for marriage. But remember to put your feet on the ground and be stay humble. Stay grounded and when you’re ask about the accomplishment in your life, say what’s needed and related to your capability to provide your family need in the future.
8. Respect the Differences
You and her may have come from a different culture and customs. As everyone has their own customs and culture, you should pay respect to each other. No matter how different and surprised you are, you have to start adjusting to that customs since you will become one with it someday.
9. Show Love to Your Parents
Not only you, wedding can be stressful to your parents too. They need to prepare the ceremony and festivities, also worrying they will lost their sons to other girl. Show your dearest love to them to soothe their heart. Change the way you behave to them even though you are not in a good terms before.
Also read: Things to Know About Marriage in Islam
10. Purify Yourself
If you want to have the best spouse, then purify yourself first.
“Good men are for good women” – An Nur (24:7)
How to Find the Best Spouse to Marry
Marriage is not a game in Islam. One must be serious about marriage, as it only done once a lifetime as everyone wish for. To have a successful and happy marriage, the most important aspect is getting the right person to marry. How could you find the best of person to spend the rest of the life with? Here are the ways to find the before you think of the ways on how to ask for marriage in Islam:
- Set the intention right for marriage. Get married because of Allah, because you want to fulfill half of the religion and want to seek more of his blessings.
- Look for the right quality, just like the Prophet said, “Men choose women for four reasons: for their money, for their rank, for their beauty and for their religion, but marry one who is religious and you will succeed” – Bukhari, Muslim
- Lower your gaze, be modest, and look for a spouse that do it as well. “And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils over their bosoms…” – An Nur (24:31)
- Ask for someone to help you. Ask them who have known you well and becoming your best friend for years to help you finding the best spouse. Make sure they are also Muslim and trustworthy enough for the task.
- Don’t be alone when you meet them for the first time. Take friends to come with you and ask them to take their friends too. Because the Prophet said that, “Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Shaytan makes a third” – Tirmidhi
So those are all the ways on how to ask for marriage in Islam. Marriage is something sacred because your are vowed in front of Allah and He will shower every Muslim marriage with blessing, love, and mercy. Be thankful if you are already married.