All praise due to Allah the Exalted, who always gives us blessing and strength in life.
Every people in this world has their own roles to be played. As for woman, after she gets married she must perform her duties as a wife. The power of a wife cannot be underestimated since a good wife is capable to bring her whole family in the gate of Jannah. To be able to do that, a wife must be a good wife. Speaking of which, there are many ways how to become a good wife in Islam.
Here are some ways to do it:
- Open Up to Your Husband
A good communication based on trust to each other is the key for a successful relationship. Have faith in your husband, share about your deepest thoughts, your ideas, and your insecurities to him. You can ask for the same so both of you will be equal. Communicate about expectations, study the Quran and sunnah about how to become a good wife. Also read How to Keep Family Ties in Islam
- Do the Best in House Chores
In Islam, house chores are usually become the wife’s duty since the husband will be out earning money. However, it doesn’t mean that you have to do it all alone. Share responsibilities with him, but do not ask for too much since he has to work as well. Ask your husband to do little things, such as keeping eye on the kids or throwing the trash. The Prophet (peace be upon him) also used to help his wife doing the chores.
- Have Fun with Him
Even though you have married for a while and have kids, doesn’t mean you can’t have fun together. Do activities that you love, set a regular date, have a romantic dinner just for both of you. Spending quality time with your husband is highly important to keep the fire of love alive. Doing activities together with your kids also will be much fun. Also read How to Have a Happy Marriage in Islam
- Talk to Him Gently
It’s normal for husband and wife to argue, but it’s important to argue in the right manner. No matter how heated up you are in the argument, make sure you talk to him gently. Never raise you voice since it could lead into unnecessary fight with him.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said to his wife Aisha,
“Show gentleness, for if gentleness is found in anything, it beautifies it and when it is taken out from anything it damages it.”
- Discuss Every Matters Together
When you are married, discuss every problem together with your husband, especially when it comes to raising children and matters regarding the family. Ask your husband what does he think about raising children, the best way to educate the children for him and exchange ideas in between. Make this as a habit so that you will get used to discuss even the smallest matter together. Also read Benefits of Early Marriage in Islam
- Show Affection to Him
One way how to become a good wife in Islam is by showing your love and affection to your husband. Don’t be shy to initiate it first. Say “I love you” to your husband everyday and every time, hug him, lean on to him, etc. Affection shows warmth and tenderness that everyone need at the end of the day.
Give your husband kind of affection that he likes. Whether it’s by giving him gifts, saying I love you, or cooking his favorite foods for dinner.
- Show Appreciation to Him
Working everyday, earning money to make ends meet must have been very tiring. Your husband may never show it as he understand that you must be tiring too, but as a good wife you have to be understanding. Appreciate him by saying thank you or giving him a light massage on the shoulder, showing that you care. Don’t feel short with money he earns, instead if it’s possible you can help him on something that he probably stuck on. Also read How to Get Husband Love in Islam
- Enjoy Intimacy Together
Sex is undeniably a need for marriage couple. In a legal bond of marriage, sex is considered a good deed in Islam. Allah SWT gives His full blessing to a couple that doing intercourse and feeling happy for it. Enjoy the moment of intimacy you have with your husband. Do it rightly according to the sunnah.
While doing it, keep in mind that sexual activities is not solely for pleasure and enjoyment. It’s also an act of worship and brings a lot of reward from Allah SWT. Don’t forget to do ghusl (major ritual bath) after that.
- Get Close to Allah
Every time you look at him, every time he talks to you, always look for Allah SWT in his eyes. A good husband is someone who always remember his wife to Allah, and a good wife should bring her husband closer to Allah SWT. Study Islam together, implement sunnah in everyday life and avoid sins as well as other forbidden act. Also read How to Improve Faith in Islam
- Make Supplication for the Sake of Marriage
Involve Allah SWT in your marriage. To have a happy and successful marriage, ask to Allah SWT. He is the only who can grant you all of it. Ask guidance from Allah SWT, especially when you face difficulties in your marriage life. Make every decision carefully and always remember Allah SWT while doing so.
- Protect Your Body Only for Your Husband
Islam has certain rules in how a woman should dressed herself. She has to make sure that her private parts are covered, leaving only her face and hand palms. It’s for her own good. When she is married, she must protect her body from other men’s eyes. The only person who has the right to look at your body is only your husband. Also read Rules of Dressing in Islam
- Stand Up for Yourself
A good wife is dutiful and obedience to her husband. But it doesn’t mean you have to give up yourself in everything he does, especially when he is abusive toward you. Stand up for yourself and be strong. A husband shouldn’t abuse his wife and it’s a big sin if he does so. His authority is not as excuse for violence.
Many women ask about how to become a good wife in Islam. As long as they follow the sunnah and sharia, the will become one. Always ask for guidance from Allah SWT, study the story of the Prophet’s wife and learn about Islam more. Insya Allah we will all become a good wife for our husband.