Relationship between husband and wife is a special one in Islam. Thus, Islam has many ways how to become a good husband, which set by the Prophet (peace be upon him) on how he treated his wife. A strong bond between them is nurtured by love, kindness, and mercy.
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” (30:21)
The Prophet (peace be upon him) had set many examples of a good husband and how to treat the wife in the best way. Becoming a good husband is important so that the marriage will be stronger and Allah SWT showers them with number of blessings.
Here are the ways how to become a good husband in Islam:
1. Open Your Thoughts to Her
Communication is the most important thing in a relationship between husband in wife. Talk to her all the time about everything. Share you thoughts, feeling, and ideas. Be honest to her about everything you feel and tell her your insecurities. Even when you are busy, always make time to talk to her at the end of the day. And if she wants to talk to you, make time for her. Read also How to Become Positive in Islam
2. Share Problems and Look for Solutions Together
Life is full of problems. They come and go endlessly. Whatever problems you face, consult with your wife to find the best solutions together, especially when it may affects you both and your marriage. Even though it has nothing to do with her, make sure you tell her. When you are stuck, she may have think of a way out that never cross your mind.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) used to sought advice from his beloved wife, Aisha (RA).
3. Build the Trust
Beside communication, trust makes strong foundation for a husband and wife relationship. To build the trust, avoid telling lies and always be honest to her. Once she catch you for lying, it’s hard to obtain her trust. Don’t be secretive so that she will open up to you too. From the smallest matters to the most crucial ones, make honesty a habit and way of life. Read also Basic Principles in Islam
4. Help Her in Domestic Duties
In Islam, working and other public duties should be done by the husband and domestic duties and household needs are taken care of by the wife. But as good husband would be understanding and flexible. He doesn’t mind to help his wife in doing domestic duties when he is off from work.
Aisha (RA) has once said, when she was asked about the Prophet’s manner, “He would be helping in doing the family duties and when he hears the call of prayer he goes out.”
5. Pay Attention to Her Feeling
Show that you love and care to your wife by considering her feeling above everything. It’s important to understand her and how she feels. Share the happiness and joy, be sympathetic when she is unhappy. Read also Importance of Husband in Islam
“The most complete of the believers in faith, is the one with the best character. And the best of you are those who are best to their women.”(Tirmidhi)
6. Express Your Love
Love strengthen the relationship in a marriage. Don’t be shy to express your love to your wife. Look at her with a loving gaze, tell her that you love her all the time. Do little things to show your love to her such as texting her between work and getting her something (such as little gifts or her favorite foods) when you are coming home from work.
7. Do Activities That You Both Love
One way to become a good husband in Islam is by spending quality time with your wife doing both of your favorite activities together. Take a walk around, watch movies, or listen to music. There are many other things that you can enjoy together. Even little talks that make both of you laugh will be enough. The Prophet (peace be upon him) used to play game to spent quality times together with his wives. Read also Importance of Family Life in Islam
8. Show Affection to Her
Expressing love should be hand in hand with showing affection. Since making your wife happy is considered as a good deed in Islam, make sure you show your affection to her time to time. Kissing her forehead and giving a fleeting hug are examples on how to be affectionate to your wife. Return her kiss when she kisses you first.
9. Appreciate for the Little Things
Taking care of the kids, cooking, and cleaning the house is harder that you think. Even though you are tired, show your appreciation to acknowledge that she has worked hard too. Naturally compliments her after she serves you food, thanked her for that. Praise her for how beautiful she looks when she tries on new clothes is also a form of compliments and appreciation. Read also How to Choose a Husband in Islam
10. Treat Her with Kindness in Bed
In a marriage, sex is one basic needs that can’t be neglected. Be kind and intimate to your wife when you are in bed, make every moment more intimate for both of you. It’s a halal activities and Allah SWT gives His blessing when a husband and wife doing intercourse in bed.
11. Strengthen Your Relationship with Allah
There will be rift in a marriage and it’s unavoidable. Every time it comes, turn to Allah SWT and ask for His help to strengthen your marriage. Thus, strengthening your relationship with Allah SWT will be highly beneficial for your marriage and your life as a whole.
Be supportive toward each other to become better Muslim. Read also How to Improve Faith in Islam
12. Use Affectionate Language to Her
Create a sweet pet names that only you use to call your wife with. It tighten the bond and love between you and your wife. The Prophet (peace be upon him) used to call his wife “Humayra” which means “rosy”, referring to her rosy cheek.
There are many other ways how to become a good husband in Islam. Make sure that you are following the sunnah of the Prophet (peace be upon him). May Allah SWT bless your family and others as well.