What is Dating?
To be attracted with the opposite sex is a nature of human beings. To find the love one that will spend our entire time with and share our story or a soulmate is necessary and a basic needs of human beings.
Dating in common language means where there are two people who are attracted to each other and trying to spend time together sharing or talking to each other and to get along each other to develop their relationship into the next time or even into a greater commitment like marriage. Also read : things to know about marriage in Islam
How Islam see Dating?
Islam also have a rule of dating for muslims to be a guidance so that their people will not be missguided. Nowadays if we see a western culture on how their young people dating are not resemble with the islamic though. Adulteryn and free sex is a common things. As a muslims we should follow the guidance both from Al-Qur’an and Hadiths to avoid us from such a bad action.
Western culture also things that dating is done for recreational purposes not for something serious. But the opposite is Islam see dating as something more serious that is why Islam give a guidance for it, as states in the following verse :
“And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way.” (QS. Al-Isra : 32)
Indeed it is clear that Islam forbid any actions that will lead its people into adultery or immorality. That is why as a good muslims we should understand on the rules of dating in Islam. Also read : how to avoid dating in Islam
Rules of Dating According to Islam
Islam set a guideline for muslims both men or women when it comes to dating, the purpose of dating in Islam is to find a couple for us to be married. And the ultimate goals is none other for worshiping Allah SWT. But somepeople things that the marriage in Islam is arranged, but in fact the decision is left up to the person (both couple) whether they want to get married or not.
These are the guidance and rule of dating in Islam :
1. The intention
As muslims our intention is very important, since every actions must star with a good intention to gain a positive result. Dating in Islam should be seek for a partner or couple that later will be our husband or wife. To engage in maritial life blessed by Allah SWT by performing one of His command and continue the lineage. Also read : obligation of a wife
2. Must avoid adultery
An Islamic way of dating must avoid adultery or anything that lead us to it.
“And those who do not invoke with Allah another deity or kill the soul which Allah has forbidden (to be killed), except by right, and do not commit unlawful sexual intercourse. And whoever should do that will meet a penalty. Multiplied for him is the punishment on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein humiliated.” (QS. Al-Furqan : 68-69)
Allah totally hate adultery and will give us a severe punishment in the Judgement Day if we conducted it.
3. Must accompanied by family or chaperons
Another rules of dating according to Islam is, that they are accompanied by their families or chaperons either friend or relatives. The meaning of this is to avoid both couples from bad actions or bad mouthing from surrounding.
“No man is alone with a woman but the satan is the third one present.” (Narrated by Ahmad, Tirmidhi, and Al-Hakim)
4. Introduced by their family
To preserve ourselves for choosing a wrong people to be our partner, it is better to know their family first. If our family member know their family or stories it will help us to filter the person we are dating. At least we know their families are good families and want to accept us. Also read : how to make husband romantic in Islam
5. A good people will meet a good one and vice versa
“The fornicator does not marry except a (female) fornicator or polytheist, and none marries her except a fornicator or a polytheist, and that has been made unlawful to the believers.” (QS. An-Nur : 3)
From the above verse it is said that bad people will met a bad one and the good people will met the good one. Allah SWT will help and give a guide to the believers for getting a pious muslims. If we increase our faith, worship, and good deed to Allah and become a better muslims each day than Allah SWT may grant us with a great soulmate.
6. Short Dating
Islamic rules of dating is focused only to know that whether the couple compatible or not and recommended for early engagement and soon getting marriage. Since take a long time for dating only lead us to a risk of facing the temptation for adultery.
7. Must keep our vision
Before marriage a muslims should keep and guard their vision, as said in the following verse :
“Tell the believing men to reduce (some) of their vision and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what they do. And tell the believing women to reduce (some) of their vision and guard their private parts and not to expose their adornment except that which (necessarily) appears thereof and to wrap (a portion of) their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands fathers, their sons, their husbands sons, their brothers, their brothers sons, their sisters sons, their women, that which their right hands possess, or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stamp thier feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed.” (QS. An-Nur : 30-31)
8. Follow our feelings
As explained before that dating is a vessel for muslims to know each other, to understand, and to met their mate. Islam did not force to accept someone who does not fit in our heart. Therefore we should follow our feelings, since the purpose of dating is to find your life partner based on the Islamic rules. The decissions is depend on each of our feeling. Also read : ways on how to meditate in Islam
9. Do Ta’aruf
Ta’aruf is the form of dating that related to the Islamic Sharia. In fact in ta’aruf the couple should not met each other and just exchange a kind of biography or portfolio that explained them. The purpose is to avoid the danger of dating while finding the suitable partner.
Those are the rules of dating in Islam that muslims should know, but we also must take a note of another rules as listed below:
- Perform istikhara to seek of guidance from Allah SWT
- Get to know their families, friends, or people surrounding them
- The first thing that muslims should paying attention is are the religious or not, since they will be our life partner that lead us to Allah SWT and His blessing.
- If you are not compatible with them Islam encourages to keep the friendship
- Perform khitbah if both couple feel compatible then their family should meet each others.