12 Ways on How to Choose a Husband in Islam
Every women must have a wish to get a kind husband for her World and her Hereafter. It is very normal because marriage is a lifetime worship. So, they will not choose their life companion carelessly. Although they have many criterions of life companion. They should also follow the way how to choose a husband in Islam, below :
- See his religion
The first thing that we should know to choose a husband is his religion. As a Moslem woman, we must choose a life companion who is Islam, too. It is based on the word of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala, which means :
“… Do not marry polytheistic men [to your women] until they believe. And a believing slave is better than a polytheist, even though he might please you. Those invite [you] to the Fire, but Allah invites to Paradise and to forgiveness, by His permission…. “ (Q.S. Al-Baqarah : 221)
From that verse, we can conclude that a Moslem man is better that a polytheistic man, although he is only a slave.
- A godly man
The second criterion is he must be a godly man. He must do all of His commands and go far away from His prohibitions. As it is explained in the hadith of Rasulullah Shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam below
“If come a man who you bless his religion and his akhlaq, you should marry him, because if you do not want to marry him, there will be a slander on earth and a broad damage.” (Narrated by Tirmidzi and Ahmad)
See also : Importance of faith in Islam
- Avoid vice
The third criterion is avoiding vice. As the word of Allah Subahanahu Wa Ta’ala, which means :
“O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.” (Q.S. At-Tahriim : 6)
A husband as a head of household has responsibility to distance his family from all of sins and everything that can erase good deeds. So, he and his family can avoid from a Fire.
- Has a strong spirit to jihad
The fourth criterion is a husband should has a strong spirit to jihad. It is not meant that he must follow a war, but he should hold on his religion. He can lead his wife and his family to istiqamah in the way of Allah Subahnahu Wa Ta’ala. Do His commands, avoid His prohibitions and follow the sunnah of Rasulullah Shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam.
“And those who believed and whose descendants followed them in faith – We will join with them their descendants, and We will not deprive them of anything of their deeds. Every person, for what he earned, is retained.” (Q.S. Ath-Thuur : 21)
See also : Importance of jihad
The fifth criterion is self-sufficient in economy. It is related with the life after marriage. A husband must has self-sufficient in economy because he should fulfill needs his family. He should not depend on his parents again. As the word of the Prophet Muhammad Shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, which means :
“O young men, whoever between you are able to (finance) marry, you should marry, because it will take better care your sight and genitals; and whoever are not able to marry, you should fast, because that fast is like castrating.” (Narrated by Ahmad, Bukhari and Muslim)
- Has the heart of a leader
The sixth criterion is a husband should has the heart of a leader to lead his wife and his children. So they can be safe in the world and the Hereafter. He can also take a right decision for his family where it must be appreciated by his wife and his children.
See also : Rules of leadership in Islam
- He is from a good family
The seventh criterion is he must be from a good family. It is not only a man who can choose a good woman, but also a woman can choose a husband from a good family. Of course, it is looked from the religion and akhlaq. Commonly, a good man is from a good family. Even, he is from a good environment, too, because a good family always associates and makes friends with a good society.
- Should be responsible and fair
The eighth criterion is a husband should be responsible and fair. He must be responsible and fair upon his decisions and everything that happen in his family. So, a Moslem women should choose a fair husband. So that, he will not abuse you and your children.
- He should be obedient to his parents
The ninth criterion is he should be obedient to his parents. It is explained in the hadith of Rasulullah Shallallahu ‘Alaihi wa sallam which means :
“From Mu’awiyah bin Jahimah, indeed Jahimah said : “I come to the Prophet Shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam for ask his permission to go to jihad”, but The Prophet Shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam asked : “Do you still have parents (who cannot take care their selves)?”. I answered : “Yes”. He said : “Take care them, because the Heaven in under their sole.” (Narrated by Thabrani, It is also a hasan hadith)
See also : Importance of obeying parents in Islam
- Has a gentle personality
The tenth criterion is a husband should has a gentle personality. Every woman wants to get an attention and softness from a man. So that, a woman should choose a husband who has a gentle personality. He can control his emotion. So, he will not get mad easily to you. But he will give you a lot of attentions and love.
- Has a healthy sex
The eleventh criterion is a husband should has a healthy sex. As Moslem women, we are advised to choose a husband who has a healthy sex. Because if our husband cannot fulfill our biological needs, we will not have a chance to add the amount of husband. So that, choose a healthy man both his physically and his sex.
- Fertile and like to make descendants
The twelfth criterion is fertile and like to make descendants. As Rasulullah Shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam will boast a lot of his people in the Hereafter. So, choose a husband who is fertile and like to make descendants. Because if he is only fertile, he only fulfill the desire of evil. Besides that, like to make descendants is a differentiator between Islam with other religions that let their people to live without a partner or children.
Thus the article about 12 how to choose a husband in Islam. Hopefully, you can choose the best husband in your life to make sakinah, mawaddah and warahmah family. Amen.
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