Law of a Woman Loving a Man Other than Her Husband in Islam
Loving in Islam is not forbidden. Loving in Islam is a human nature because everyone must have a love inside his heart and it is a natural thing.
However, we cannot just love other people carelessly especially to other man or woman which is not our muhrim. As a woman, we should make a limitation in making friendship into the opposite sex because fall in love in Islam cannot be expressed into dating. It is forbidden to have dating in Islam as it is mentioned on Al-Qur’an:
“Do not be closer to zina, indeed, zina is something cruel and bad.” (QS. Al-Isra:32)
Here, we are going to discuss about the law of loving other husband in Islam. It is common to find in our society whereas a woman is love a married man then she asked to be married as well too. Below are Islam views in relation to the issue:
Islam view about loving a married man
Logically, it is wrong to understand about loving a married man and it is considered as bad deeds. Our theologians also have the same opinions about loving a married man because it can ruin the household of the man and it is also considered as forbidden. Read more about Law of Wife Support Husband in Islam
Imam Al-Haitsami in his book Al-Zawajir ‘an Igtiraf al-Kabair explains that breaking the relationship between a wife and her husband is forbidden and categorized as big sin. It is also supported by some hadidh such as:
Abu Hurairah Radiiyallahu mentioned that Rasulullah SAW said,”
Those who are deceive and break (relationship) of his bondsman from his master, then she is not being kind of us. And those who are break (relationship) a woman from his husband; she is not being kind of us.”
Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said,
“It is forbidden to a woman asking a man (to a female husband) to have divorce to another woman (his wife) by intention this woman is monopolizing ‘his plate’. Indeed, her provision is appropriated as her right position in Islam.”
Ulama Syafi’i said that a woman who is harassing other husband and then ruin his household, it is allowed to be married after he is confirmed entitled divorce. However, this is considered as a fasikh and immoral and she will be burden a big sin.
Ulama Hanafi has the same opinion with Syafi’I that mentioned they can marry after the man is confirmed to divorce with his wife. Still, it is the worst deeds and will be calculated in the doomsday. Read more about How to Get Husband Love in Islam
Different from the above theologians, Ulama Maliki mentioned that a woman which is already ruin a man household and then asked to be married after the man is get divorce; their marriage is considered forbidden because they were taking a bad way.
Actions which are considered as ruin other household
There are some actions considered provoked ruin of other household. It caused of a woman is liked to flirty a married man, such as:
- Exaggerate in communicating with a married man
Intense and continuous communication can be one of the reason of love arising. It is very dangerous for those who already married, for example a single woman is frequently communicated with a married man, sooner it is possible that the married man will fall in love with the woman. In addition, it can cause of affairs which will ruin the married man household.
- Flittering and seducing
As a woman, it is better to have limitation in making friendship with the other opposite sex. A woman is not allowed show her spoil voice in front of a man which is not her muhrim. Read more about Law of Circumcision for Women According to Islam
Flirting and seducing are forbidden in Islam because it can easily tempt a man in any condition especially if the woman is seducing a man with sexy clothes. Naudzubillah mindzalik
- Praying other household destroyed
It is obviously a big sin to pray other household destroyed because of love. Here, we are advisable to have introspection both self-correction and the household relationship.
Whether it is full of love or a demon desire only, we are recommended to istighfar more than usually and get closer to Allah SWT so we are avoided from the disgraceful deeds.
- Push and ask to be married
It is also forbidden to push and ask to be married with a married man. A man cannot carelessly do polygamy. It should be based on the heartfelt and permission of the wife and polygamy cannot be done in secretly even to divorce a wife in a pressure condition. Read more about Law of Woman Propose to Marriage in Islam
- Ask a shaman or witch doctor help
Asking a shaman or witch doctor help in order to get love from the married man is obviously a big sin. Rasulullah SAW said,
” Those who are visiting a fortune teller and believing on everything his words, his worship will not be accepted for about 40 days.” (Muslim)
“They (all the shamans) are nothing.” All the relatives said,” Dear Prophet! There is a time they prediction is true.” Rasulullah SAW answered,” It is something that could be heard by the jinn and being whispered to his trustee while at the same time they are mixing it with hundred of lies.” (HR. Bukhari)
How to Maintain Our Heart Avoiding Misguides
We do not have to love a married man in loving someone because it can lead us into misguides path. Here are some ways to maintain our heart to avoid misguides things:
- Do lot of Dhzikr
The merit of Dzhikr in Islam is to get Allah SWT blessed so we can protect our self from disgraceful things, heavenly promised and all our needs are fulfilled.
Allah SWT commandment,
” Be prayer beads to praise your Lord, before the sun rises and before the sun set and be prayer beads in a certain time at night, at noon so you will be pleased.” (QS. Thaa-Haa:130)
“Those who are devout people and they hearts are become peaceful by remembering Allah SWT. Indeed, by remembering Allah SWT our heart is become peaceful.” (QS. Ar-Ra’du:28)
- Lowered his eyes
“To all devout men:
“They should hold back their gazes and maintain their genitals; those are considered saint to them. Indeed, Allah is All Knowing for all the deeds.” To all devout women:” You should hold back your gazes and keeping your genitals.” (QS. An-Nuur:30-31)
- Covered genitals
Allah Subhanallah Ta’ala commandment,
” Dear Prophet, please inform to your wives, your daughters and others mukmin wives;” They should covering their hijab over their body!” It is to recognize them and not to be disturbed. Allah is Merciful and Loving.” (QS. Al-Ahzab:59)
- Make busy our self by gathering with good people
Rasulullah SAW said,
” The parable between the good friends and the bad friends sounds like a perfume seller and a black smith. A perfume seller may give you perfume and you can buy as many as perfumes from him. Even if not, you can still get the fragrance from him. While the black smith, it could be (fire sparks) about your shirt, even if not, you still get his bad smoke.” (HR. Bukhari and Muslim)
“(A Religion) someone is suitable with his close friend religion, then you shall notice who is being his best friend.” (HR. Abu Dawud, At-Tirmidzi, Al-Hakim and Ahmad)
- Do fasting
Fasting can help our self to hold our lust and avoid us from the bad deeds. When we are in love to someone but we cannot have him, we are advisable to do fasting as we could. The reason is to avoid us from the matter which caused of sin.
- Minimize interaction from the opposite sex
We can minimize our interaction to our opposite sex to avoid the forbidden love. If it is not urgent matter, we shall avoid the interaction. Read more about Law of Crying During Prayers in Islam
Please be noticed, zina comes from our sight, verbal, hearing and holding hand which is forbidden. Zina in Islam is a big sin.
Abu Hurairah radliyallaahu ’anhu was narrated that Rasulullah SAW said,
” It is been written on behalf of Bani Adam which is confirmed part of zina that must been done and cannot be tolerated. Then zina from the sight (the eyes) is seeing (it is forbidden). Zina both ears is listening (it is forbidden), zina verbal is words (it is forbidden), zina hand is holding (it is forbidden), zina foot is step across (go to a forbidden place), full of wishful heart and day dreaming, genitals are justified or deniable all those things.” (HR. Bukhari and Muslim)
- Read Al-Qur’an more
Allah Ta’ala commandment,
“Actually, those who are considered as devout people are those who heard the name of Allah SWT been called shakes their hearts and when they were read the verses of Al-Qur’an, their faithfully are increasing and to the God only they are surrender their heart.” (QS. Al Anfal:2)
- Be patient
It is also one of the key to avoid forbidden love and soul mate will not be mistaken because it has already chosen. We only need to pray and ask Allah SWT to be avoided from demons whispering.
Allah Ta’ala commandment,
” And we will give you some test with a bit of fear, hunger and lack of wealth, soul and fruits. And give the good to the patient people.” (Al-Baqarah:155)
- Be Godly to Allah SWT
At the end, we must be heartfelt to give all our matter to Allah SWT and trust to Him. When He decided into something it must be the best solution for us. Our obligation is trying to avoid those which are including sins and be faith to Islam regulation. Read more about Prohibition of Swine in Islam
“It is said He is Allah is All the Loving and we are godly to Him and to Him only we are surrender our heart. Later, you will figure out those who are in a big lost.”(QS. Al-Mulk:29)