Of coure, beating children in Islam is not recommended or justified, because there are many considerations for the growth of children and other psychological aspect of children. Certainly also a limit between parents who really in order to educate or just let their mere emotions. Of course, this should always be realized by parents.
This is not only parents, but educators like teachers should understand about the law of physical punishment for children in Islam, so that they are not educating in the wrong way and going vigilantes. Whereas the children need a dialogical aspect and understanding because they are happy to explore the new things around them.
Parents must think first before they reflect to punish their children with beating them, and do not let it as a bad habit. For that, here are the law of physical punishment for children in Islam that the parents must know and watch out.
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The Islamic view about beating children
As we know, sometimes the behavior of children annoy and make their parent angry. Because of that, the parents need patience in Islam, moreover they are still in the growth period and they do not know more about the wrong and right.
Rasulullah has said that if the children did not want to pray, the parents may give them a warning once with beating a little stick to them. But don’t do that with a harsh way or full of emotions. Here are some things that should not be done and justified in Islam about beating children.
- The prohibition of beating face
“If someone of you beat, then he should be away (beat) face.”
Rasulullah has prohibited Muslims to beat a face, so we should go away that behavior and do not let it as our habit especially children. Moreover, A face is an important aspect and it is the most visible from our physic. For that, do not hurt it or do a harsh beat to it. Indeed, that is no ethics and comely to be seen.
- The prohibition to show a high emotion or uncontrolled emotions
“It is not a strong man that is measured with the strength of his fight, but a strong man is able to restrain himself when angry.”
This is delivered by Rasulullah SAW, that we should not show excessive emotions or a very uncontrolled emotion.
- Hit in a very anger state
If we have to beat or need a hit to children, then do not hit them in a very anger state. That is not in the vital part or other important parts. It is only for warning. So, it will make our children more realize, not just make them scared. [AdSense-B]
- Being too hard and harsh
Of course, a parent who is too hard and harsh will be not liked by children. They will be fear to their parents and go far away from them. Whereas, parents should be a figure and good example for their children.
If they are too hard and harsh, their children will look for attentions and protections from others, because that behavior scare them and it can make a trauma for them. While they need confidence that have to be supported by parents. See also how to deal with abusive father in Islam.
- Beating with a hard thing and imprint in children’s body
Sometimes, this thing happen to parents who can not control their selves. For example, they hit their children by a broom or stick, even it leave a wound in that child’s body.
A wound in that child’s body may be nothing, but a wound in their heart, soul and memory will be difficult to be lost and they will always feel the pain. Of course, we do not want to be a parent that was memorized by our children because our uncontrolled emotional and bad habits. [AdSense-A]
Bad effects for the growth of children
A physical punishment is not recommended in psychologist view, too. Many people said that a physical punishment can continue to other physical violence. If the parents did not realize (emotions), of course it can cause an uncontrolled behavior.
Consequently, it is not only disturb the emotion aspect of children, but they can be more liar. They will stress and they do not feel confidence. They felt that they are a wrong human. Whereas, that is not right.
It is not meant that parents could not give a punishment to their children. But, a physical punishments is not a right way. Whereas, There are many ways to give a punishment to children that can make them more independent and useful for many people. A physiology has done a research that an emotion that was given to children can kill more one million brain cells at that time and 10 billions others brain cells that were growing in children.
Do not let us kill that brain cells and crush them because our uncontrolled emotions. For that, we should hold on our emotion and give a thinking space, so our behavior will be more restrained.
Ways to educate children without beating them
There are still many ways for parents to educate children without beating them. For that, parents need how to be patience and sincerity to hold on themselves and always think clearly. Emotions and uncontrollable feelings will only destroy themselves and children’s psychological.
Although it is heavy, That’s why educating children is a struggle and reward for parents. For that, here are things that parents can do in educating, punishing children without beating them.
- Give space for children to think and realize their faults
Parents can give space for children, so they think and realize their faults. If they make mistakes and mistakenly, do not give them a punishment and our anger to them. Find out what caused the mistake done by children. Let them dialogue with us and give them an advice to do not do that again. This is very important to be done, and do not let us scold or beat him when the child made a mistake at the first time.
- Stay away from children if you can not maintain your emotions
If parents can not control their emotions, then it is better for them to stay away from children. Let them alone and cry than we have to release our bad emotions to them. [AdSense-C]
- Give educating punishments (sanctions)
Give a punishment as a sanction if the child is having an error. For example, he does not accept pocket money, he can not play gadget or watch his favorite films.
- Give additional tasks if they violate rules
If the child make a mistakes and violate a rule, we can give additional tasks for them such as washing plates, cleaning clothes, and many more. This can be done if children have been 4 year old and over.
- Do not punish and scold children in public
This is very important, do not let us punish and educate our children in public. This thing will damage the mentality and confidence of children. Give a punishment and scold them at home or no one is looking. Because this is a private matter for children and their parents not with others. Moreover, other people usually do not understand the details of case.
Educate the child is a trust from Allah SWT, do not let we waste it and neglect, because the responsibility is in the hereafter.
See also :
- Importance of devotion to parents in Islam
- How to deal with controlling parents in Islam
- Quran Verses of respecting parents