Raising kids can be challenging to every parents. When they are still young, they have to educate them well so that they will be a good person in the future. But raising them surely not an easy task. Parents often lost control when their kids are crying or throwing tantrums, so they end up yelling at their kids. But yelling to kids is something prohibited for Muslims.
Here are further explanation about prohibition of yelling to kids in Islam:
- Act Like a Kid with Them
It is narrated from the Prophet (peace be upon him): “The person who has a child, should behave like a child with him.”
Why parents are prohibited from yelling to their kids? It’s because they have to act like kids when they are with them. It means that parents should put their feet on their kids’ shoes and try to understand them better. Also read Law of Kissing Children When Sleeping In Islam
It is also narrated from Imām °Alī (AS): “Anybody who has a child, should, for his/her training, bring themselves down to their level of childhood.”
- Treating Them Harshly is Prohibited
Any harsh treatment for kids is also strongly prohibited in Islam. When a kid is crying, parents should never hit or yell at him. Upon a crying kid, our Prophet (peace be upon him) has provided a good explanation:
“Do not hit your babies since their crying has a meaning. The first 4 months of crying is professing the unity of Allah (SWT), the second 4 months of crying is sending blessings upon the Prophet (peace be upon him) and his family and the third 4 months of crying is the baby praying for the parents.”
- Treat Them with Love and Affection
Instead of harshness and violence, it’s recommended to treat your kids with love and affection. Give them hugs and kisses every time so that they will always feel your love. Also read Rights Of Parents in Islam
It is also narrated that a man once came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said: “I have never kissed my child.” The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Surely a man like this will be a resident of the fire of hell.”
- Pay Respects to Them
Every parents would like their kids to have a good character when they grow up. It all should be started early from ever since the kids were little. If you want to be respected by your kids, treat them with respect regardless of their age. A kid who has already familiar with respect will treat everyone around them that way.
Avoid yelling to them or hit them so that your kids won’t develop a bad trait in the future.
- Spoiling Your Children Too Much is Prohibited
Treating children with love and respect doesn’t mean you can spoil on them all they want. Instead of making them a good person, spoiling your kids too much make them grow up as someone lack of determination and will. They would like to encounter many problems when they grow up. Also read Quran Verses of Respecting Parents
How to Stop Yelling to Your Kids
After reading on the prohibition of yelling to kids in Islam, some of you must have just realized how bad it would be to you and your kids. But, then again, how could you do it? Here are some tips to stop yelling at your kids.
- Seek Refuge from Shaytan
When you are yelling to your children, you’d be in the state of anger, which caused by the evil whisper of Shaytan. It’s important to seek for refuge from Shaytan. Say istighfar many times so that you will be kept away from Shaytan. Also read How to be Happy in Islam
As narrated by Atiyyah As Sa’di, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created of fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution.” (Abu Dawud)
- Go Away from Your Kids
Remove yourself from the sight of your kids when you are angry. You need to disengage yourself from the situation temporarily to calm down. It’s better to leave rather than screaming and yell to your kids. After you can contain yourself, you may reenter the room and talk to your kids.
- Sit Down When You Speak
It’s easier for you to get angry when you stand up. To prevent such things, you better sit down when speaking to your kids. It’s also a part of sunnah. While you change manner of speaking, you will be distracted so that every anger feeling would be gone. It also help you to calm down. Also read Ways To Earn Good Deeds In Islam
- Take a Break and Breathe
Never speak when you’re angry unless you want to regret all the things came out of your mouth. Take some minutes break, take a deep breath, and think about everything you want to say. If you can’t think of anything, just exhale and inhale make you feel calmer.
- Stop When You’re About to Angry
When you feel like your head is about to boil and anger can burst any moment, stop everything you do. Start to notice what you feel inside your body and how anger can create an unpleasant sensation inside.
- Speak Slowly and Softly
When you speak to your kids, always speak slowly and softly. Speaking with anger only makes things worse and your kids won’t listen to you.
- Take Wudu’
As said in a hadith above, anger is fire which can only be extinguished with water. Take wudu when you’re angry to calm down yourself.
So those are the explanation about prohibition of yelling to kids in Islam. Any harsh treatment to a kid is prohibited, and it may not be easy for every parents. Always remember Allah and seek for His guidance when you are educating your kids so that He will always show you the right way.