Today, Polygamy is still becoming a controversial issue among society. Polygamy in Islam means that a muslim male which is permitted to married a muslim female more than one female. Basically, the law of polygamy in Islam is legal or permitted with the condition the male is able to be fair as it is stated on QS. An Nisa 3,
”Then be married with other women whose you love, two, three or four. Then if you are feel afraid will not be able to be bear with oneself then married with one only.”
Currently, most of the biggest Islam countries in the world are permitted polygamy, including Indonesia. Prophet of Muhammad SAW was also done polygamy at the rest of his eight years before he died.
He was only have one wife with is Khadijah for about 28 years old, and after she passed away, he did married with some women. Still, the Prophet of Muhammad SAW is emphasizing about the attitude of conscionable in polygamy.
Some women are accepting the provision of polygamy because they believed that it is one of the ways to get of Allah SWT jannah in the term of their faithfully to their husband and the law of Allah SWT. Still, it must be assurance with fairness that husband will continue to do all his obligation to his wife even he has more than one wife. Read more about How to Give Pleasure to Wife in Islam
Whilst, some women are refusing polygamy due to the fairness which means that the affordable of their spouse will not be able to be fair in giving the livelihood both material and spiritual.
In spite of the personal opinion about polygamy, basically, each opinion will always refers to the source of Shari’a Islam.
In the term of either accepting or rejecting the polygamy, the law is halal because Allah SWT is already giving His permission to do it and those who are rejecting means she is un follow the Shari’a Islam. Here are the explanation based on Allah SWT and Rasulullah commandment:
1. Transgression of rejecting polygamy
Women have an obligation to accept polygamy in Shari’a Islam, and those who are rejecting polygamy it in Islam will be assumed as a sin. In fact, women who are asking divorce from their spouse while their spouse are able to be fair and do his entire obligation; still she is receiving a sin. Read more about Rights of Bride in Islam
The law of wife resisting of husband in Islam is also mentioned that polygamy may be the reason of sinner by the condition of the husband is able,”
Each woman who ask for divorce from his spouse without giving reasonable argument as it is justified in Shari’a Islam, it is forbidden for her getting the famous heaven.”(HR. Tirmidzi).
It is not permitted to a woman asking divorce due to her husband is willing to implement of Shari’a Islam. All of good rewards of women will be vanished by rejecting polygamy, [AdSense-B]
” It happened because they are resenting the Shari’a Islam of Allah SWT commandment, then Allah SWT will vanish all the good rewards of their worship.”(QS. Muhammad:9)
2. Rejecting Polygamy will be classified as misguide behavior
It is not convenient to apply polygamy in daily activities since it has a close relation to human feeling. Allah SWT commandment in QS. Al Ahdzab:36,
It is not appropriate for male muslim and female muslim when Allah SWT and His Messenger were already stipulated on something whereas always alternatives for their concern. Those who are perfidious to Allah SWT and His Messenger, indeed, she has lost with the reality misguide.”
Some women will have the feeling of heartfelt and be treated conscionable after accepting the polygamy. The action is not justified because it can inflict the feeling of aversion and even wishing all the bad rewards for her spouse. Read more about Islamic Ways to Treat Your Wife
It will also not be blessed from Allah SWT due to sincerity is not seeing by spoken; indeed, it shall come from the heart and be applied in her daily activities. Here, Divorce in Islam is not recommended because her spouse is able to livelihood of his wife. [AdSense-A]
3. Refusing Polygamy as a figure of strength less of Faith
Polygamy can be said as a kind obedient test to women with their spouse, as Allah SWT commandment,”
Do they thought that they will have opinions by saying: we have already devout to You while they will not get be tested again?” (QS. Al Ankabuut:2).
It is true that sometimes women are in the feasible condition to fill their obligation to their spouse because of haidh, childbirth or sickness.
Whilst, the spouse are need kind of mental livelihood whereas Islam is recommended polygamy for the better of their live hood. Here, polygamy is chosen as a better way comparing with zina or bad deeds. Read more about Importance of Female Child Education in Islam
The fact that the number of women are much more than men makes the condition of polygamy is permitted in Islam, because if it is not permitted, there will be many women will not marriage. Thus, polygamy is a better action in order to maintain the men dignity and protect women. Faithfully women will always assured that Allah SWT will always give good deeds to all devout people,
” Those who are godly to Allah SWT, indeed, He will leads them into the right ways.” (QS. Ath Thalaaq:2)
4. Refusing polygamy is one of the characteristic of Suudzon
When a sholehah woman married with a sholeh husband by the condition he is able to act conscionable and willing to polygamy, it is become a compulsory to a woman to have the feeling heartfelt reconsider that there are many rewards will be given from Allah SWT for godly wife and avoiding suudzon.
Indeed, all mukmin is advisable to Allah SWT both to the laws which are stated on Al Qur’an and hadidh.
It is certainly clear that polygamy in Shari’a Islam is permitted, and whoever confronting the Shari’a of Allah SWT means that she is confronting of Allah SWT,
” Those who are confronting of Allah SWT and His Messenger, indeed, Allah SWT is very harsh to His punishment.”(QS. Al Hasyr:4).
It is an obligation for a woman to accept and godly to all Allah SWT Shari’a referring to polygamy though she is not understood about the merit inside of it because all of Shari’a Islam which is made by Allah SWT will always have all the good wisdom inside of it. Read more about How to Make Husband Romantic in Islam
5. Refusing polygamy will obstruct the bounty of Allah SWT
A woman will felt being perfect when she got married, be a wife, has a leader and also descendants. She also needs to develop her knowledge including about polygamy.
Women are acknowledge that polygamy is one of Shari’a Islam which is permitted, however most of them are feel afraid about sharing the love.
They prefer to be the one because it makes them feel special in their spouse heart. A woman need to have mindful set that a husband is also entrusted of Allah SWT so that by doing polygamy will produce many bounty which are the soleh and solehah children and also widespread the comradeship.
“Polygamy will generate all the good deeds of married women genitals, widespread the comradeship between human with others and to multiply children as many as being recommended by Rasulullah SAW.” (Fatawa Ibnu Utsaimin).
6. Refusing polygamy which is permitted in Islam
It is narrated by Shahihain by Miswar bin Makhramah, once Rasulullah SAW preached on the podium when resisting (prohibit) Ali bin Abi Thalib to married again, means that he is prohibit doing polygamy to his daughter (Fatimah Az Zahra).
“Bani Hasyim bin Mughirah is asking my permission to marriage his daughter with Ali. I am not permitted. I am not permitted. I am not permitted except Ali is divorcing of my daughter first and then married to her. She (Fatimah) is part of me and if there is something makes her upset and hurt her down, I feel the same too.” (HR. Bukhari).
The reason of Rasulullah SAW mentioned was because he is a guardian of Ali and the woman who will be married to Ali was the daughter of Abu Jahal, a harm and vicious Quraish resistance to Islam. It also assumed that the marriage will bring defamation and enmity. Read more about Muslim Wife Duties for Her Husband
Rasulullah SAW continued of His preaching,
” Indeed, I am not prohibit the halal one, but for Allah goodness, there is no benefit of gathering Rasulullah SAW daughter with the daughter of Allah SWT enemy forever.”
It can be summarized that a woman is allowed to refuse polygamy by the condition it is not justified as on the Shari’a Islam. It means that marriage with infidel or woman who’s already married, because it is considered as immoral,
“Do not marriage with infidel woman before she is godly to Allah SWT.” (QS. Al Baqarah:221).
In conclusion, polygamy is permitted in Islam, and it is forbidden for a woman to refuse the law of polygamy (except it is not justified as on Shari’a Islam) because it is considered as violation to the laws of Allah SWT.