A husband and wife should be able to understand their rights and obligations to their spouse and other family members. A married couple interacting in the home should seek the balance, uphold justice, spread affection, and prioritize duty rather than claim rights. One of the duties of the husband is to treat his wife well. We have already known that each husband has a different character and treatment to his wife. However, Allah has warned that the husband must not hurt his wife and treat her like a treasure.
Messenger of Allah. said, “Fear Allah in treating women, for you take them with the message of Allah and you prophesy their greed with the words of Allah; and your duty is to give them a living and clothing well. “
Here is presented Islamic way to treat your wife.
1. Don’t force thing to the wife and give kindness to her
You may become a husband and the head of household. The wife must be obedient to the husband according to the Islamic law. However, you must not force the thing to the wife such as force her to stay at home, prohibit her from working, and other else. A husband must give kindness to the wife and make her happy in the entire life.
“O you who believe[d]! Not (is) lawful for you that you inherit the women (by) force. And not you constraint them so that you may take a part (of) what you have given them except that they commit immorality open. And live with them in kindness. But if you dislike them, then perhaps that you dislike a thing and Allah placed in it much good.” (An-Nisa 4:19)
See also: Importance of Niqab in Islam
2. Helping your wife’s work at home
Indeed as a housewife, the wife does more homework. However, as a husband, you may also help her to lighten her work. This can be done when finishing the work / earning a living and have leisure/holiday. Mutual help between husband and wife also strengthens household harmony. A real husband will not let his woman that he loves gets the hassles and the tiredness of taking care of the baby and his household.
“He always served (helped) his wife.” (HR Bukhari)
3. Hearing a Wife’s Opinion Before Deciding Something
In marriage, the decision should not be taken unilaterally and alone. Although a husband is a leader in the household, the wife also has a chance to give her opinion. A wife will feel appreciated when her husband asks for opinions before deciding something.
This will certainly further strengthen the relationship between husband and wife. At least by asking the opinion of the wife, a problem will find the intersection, especially if the issue is related to the household. Of course, we often hear the saying that two people are better than just one.
See also: Importance of Commitment in Islam
4. Keep your wife’s feelings
A wife is a gentle creature that requires the presence of a protective figure that is a husband. Ways to protect the wife can not only be shown physically but non-physical things such as feeling is actually a strong foundation or benchmark the extent to which the husband is able to protect his wife.
Sometimes the small things that disturb the feelings and peace of a wife just came from her husband. To that end, when your wife spills out the grievances and worries she experiences, listen and calm her heart.
5. Controlling emotions and anger towards your wife
Controlling emotions for a man is not an easy thing. A woman’s heart will always remember how you treat her as a wife. In a domestic relationship, disputes or differences of opinion cannot be avoided. Facing the problem and the household dispute with the emotions certainly not good and did not change anything.
It requires cool thinking between the two. If a husband is not able to control his emotions and keep a gentle attitude toward the wife, it is better to stay away from your wife and find ways to calm your heart and mind. This will prevent you from doing bad to the wife. Once the emotions subside, see your wife again.
See also: Islamic Way to Celebrate Birthday
6. Be patient with your wife
The wife is human, so she can make some mistakes in her life. You must be patient and accept these as a husband. It is better if you give advice to her with gentle words so it will not hurt her.
“Feeling pleasure with a wife will not be perfect except by being patient with her”. And one more thing that should not be ignored is that it is unpalatable for a husband to divorce his wife for no apparent reason. (Fathul Bari, 9/306, Sahih Sahih Muslim, 10/57)
7. Love and give affection to your wife
Loving your wife wholeheartedly is an obligation because you have already decided to marry her because of the love. By loving your wife, she will be happy to face the world.
“And among His Signs (is) that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you love and mercy. Indeed, in that surely (are) Signs for a people who reflect.” (Ar-Rum 30:21)
See also: Importance of Breakfast in Islam
8. Give your wife protection
The obligation of a husband who can glorify his wife is by protecting his wife from various threats, including protection from the fires of hell by teaching him the akhlaqul of the Qur’an. The husband needs to protect his wife from threats that come into the world too.
“O you who believe! Protect yourselves and your families (from) a Fire whose fuel (is) people and stones, over it (are) Angels stern, severe; not they disobey Allah (in) what He Commands them but they do what they are commanded.” (At-Tahrim 66:6)
9. Eating food from the wife’s cooking and eating together
The wife always cooks with her bottom life for the happiness of the husband. So, the husband needs to appreciate it and eat it with happiness. Even though he may be busy and has a lot of work, he needs to take a time to taste the food that is prepared specially for him. He can also praise the food that the wife cooks for him.
In addition, the husband should eat together with the wife to tighten the relationship of the family. By doing this, the wife will be happy and feel that all her works are paid off.
See also: Islamic Way to Avoid Bad Dreams
10. Never hit your wife
Husbands who are light-handed, fond of slapping and beating wives are husbands who do not understand that Islam which exalts women. Islam never teaches its people to harm or beat others even if the person has a mistake. Islam is a beautiful religion and encourages to use words and patience in facing the mistakes of the wife.
“Aisha Radhiallahu anhaa once said: My husband never beat his wife even once.” (HR Nasa’i)
11. Cheer up your wife
You and your wife will face difficult problems and obstacles in the world. Some wives may be not strong enough to handle them. They could have cried because of them and need help from the husband. You can help the wife with your action or your support by cheering up your wife. The cheer from you can make your wife stronger and calmer to overcome the problems.
“One time Shafiyah safar with Rasulullah, it was his turn. He missed (entourage) because his camel was slow, then weeping. Then the Prophet came wiping tears with both hands then tried to make Shafiyah stop crying.” (HR Nasa’i)
12. Never talk bad things about your wife
Your wife may have a weakness and bad thing. However, you must not talk bad things about her and spread it to other people and hurt her by doing it. You must complement each other’s weakness as a husband because it is the objective of marrying your wife.
13. Sometimes give a present or surprise
As a husband, you should give a present or surprise occasionally because it shows that you care about her and make her happy. The present doesn’t need to be expensive or grand. You can make her happy by giving a small present that she likes.
See also: Importance of Sincerity in Islam
14. Give a greeting before and after going to work
A greeting like “Assalamualaikum” and the prayer from the wife can make you become more powerful and energized to do the work. Allah has already given the command to do greetings everyday and everywhere. The Prophet always greets his wife and care for her so you need to follow His way and do it every day.
15. Invite her to do salat
Salat is the main obligation of Muslims and you need to do salat five times every day. As the leader of the family, you must invite your wife to do salat because Allah has already commanded it and you will get rewards by doing it. You can do it by waking up your wife for salat Fajr or remind her to do salat. You will be responsible for the action, prayer, and salat that is done by your family in the hereafter so you must take a note for this.
See also: Importance of Gathering in Islam
More Islamic way to Treat Your Wife
Here is presented more Islamic way to treat your wife.
- Respect her
- Care about her health
- Treat her when she is sick
- Give advice and suggestion
- Take vacation and invite her
- Travelling together
- Help taking care of the children
- Massage her when tired
- Give the salary to her to be managed
- Do not walk alone with other women
- Always sleep together with her
- Always talk to her at home
- Give a smile every day
- Spoil her occasionally
- Never lie or keep secret about something from her.
- Try to cook for her
- Give your shoulder for her to lean on
- Take her to go to her favorite place so she can reduce stress
- Give her gift
- Have a Mercy to her
- Kiss her when she tired
- Sharing story with her
- Compliment her in good way
- Make a sweet nickname only for her
- Give her a great and warm hug
- Call her when you can’t come home on time so she doesn’t worried
- Respect her when she being jealous
- Being patience when she angry
- Help her with house work
- Take care of her in every ways
- Let her to do what they love
- Give a warm compliment to her food
- Give her a back hug when she is cooking
- Overcome worship together.
That’s all Islamic way to treat your wife. Hope your wife will become happy when you are doing all of these and hope both of you become more harmonious.