In one of hadith from Tirmidzi said :
“The pleasure of Allah rests on the pleasure of the parents, and the wrath of God lies in the wrath of the parents”
This hadith means that Islam teaches people to worship parents. This filial duty is valid for life. Even if his parents have died, the child is still required to pray for the safety of his mother’s father in the grave. Parents are angels for their children.
They have gone to great lengths to raise their children, to work hard, to risk their lives until the child grows up. Thus, children should not forget their parents even if he/she is married. Inside the duty in marriage, here is the right of our parents that we must considered after we are getting married.
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1. Keeping a Relationship with Parents
Giving gratitude is a relationship to parents. Although married, it does not mean that the relationship between parents and children should be cut off. Allah SWT does not like the person who breaks the bond, let alone the child against his parents. If so, the girl who breaks the bond will become a rebellious child against her parents. Therefore, try to stay in contact with parents with the permission of the husband.
2. Caring for the Elderly
Ideally, those who get the responsibility and the obligation to care for the parents are boys. In accordance with Islamic teachings that the obligation of men after marriage is to his parents first, then to his wife and child. But these ideal conditions are often difficult to achieve for one reason or another. Often there are only girls in one family, or only their daughters can care for their parents. Under such circumstances, the obligation will fall to a girl with her husband’s consent. You may want to read about Effectives Prayer for Parents Health
3. Provide our Parents
Obligations of children to parents after marriage, among others, to help support the parents. If a woman does not have her own income, surely she can give a living to her parents if her husband sanctioned her. For women who have their own income, the money is his own so he is free to use it to help the livelihood of parents. But it would be nice to ask permission husband first to do so, because after all the husband is a leader in the household. You may want to read about Rights of Parents in Islam After Death and Alive
4. Act Good to Our Parents
Getting married is not a reason to treat parents badly. Doing good is not only a parent’s obligation to the child, but also an obligation that must be fulfilled by the child against the parents. Doing good to parents and virtuous virtue to parents is mentioned in the following verse from Al Israa :
“And your Lord has commanded you not to worship but to Him only and to do good to your mother and father. If one or both are elderly in your care, then do not ever say ‘ah’ to both and do not shout at both, and say good words. “(Surat al-Israa 23)
5. Humble yourself in front of parents
One of the obligations of married women to parents is to humble themselves before their parents. Humility is a way of honoring parents. Included in the act of humbling in the presence of parents is to subdue views when given advice, not to argue and not feel themselves more know than parents, calling parents with respect, walking does not precede parents. You may want to reada about Suprising Benefits of Kindness in Islam
Succumbing though not necessarily a mistake is also a form of humbling in the presence of parents, as mentioned to humble themselves in Surah Al-Israa 24:
“Humble yourselves to your parents with love and say: ‘O my Lord, have mercy on my parents as they loved me when I was a child’“
6. Say good to parents
One part in the story of dutiful children to parents is to show that the child is always trying to say good to his parents. For example, talking with the word pearl for parents who can be soothing. Try not to yell and say harshly, let alone refute the words of parents intended to counsel children. If there is a wrong word from the parent, fix it with gentle and good language.
7. Make Them a Happy Parents
The obligation of a daughter to a married parent, among other things, is to find a way to make parents happy right. Keep everything that can hurt the parents and bring them good news and good news. When forced to deliver bad news, convey it slowly and regularly, and with a calm manner. You may want to read about How to be Happy in Islam.
8. Provide food to parents
Providing food to parents is one of the dutiful forms and obligations of girls to parents after marriage. Especially if both parents have old and old. If parents are still able to take care of themselves, then bring the fruit of the form of food can also be done while visiting parents.
9. Pay Attention The Need of Parents
We will not be able to know how to be a good parent if we can not fulfill our duty to our parents. Whenever possible, meeting the various needs of parents can be done by married girls though. For example, when parents need to see a doctor, need to buy drugs, need to be delivered to a place, even if only just need a friend to chat.
10. Asking for permission and approval of parents
For married women, parental consent may not be the main thing anymore because it is more important to ask permission to the husband. But the blessing and prayer of the parents is everything, if not consider the feelings of parents then the child can become ungodly.
In addition, asking for the blessing of a parent can make them happy that the child still needs their advice and opinions, and does not just ignore the parents in making big decisions. The virtue of filial piety can be obtained by all children, be it a boy or a girl. The daughters’ obligations to married parents can still be exercised with the permission and the blessing of the husband, as it is necessary for the wives to husbands to widen their breasts and understand the importance for wives to seek heaven by also worshiping their parents as long as it is possible not to harm their own family.
11. Devote to Our Parents
A married man often puts aside even his mother just because he already has a beautiful wife. It is untruthful thing to do, because the obligation of a son to worship his mother keeps going even though he is married. Boys should pay attention to their mother, fulfill their needs and certainly do what their mother tells them to do, as long as it is in accordance with the religious law and not deviate. And it is mentioned in Surah Maryam verse 14 :
‘And a man who worshiped his parents, and he is not a proud man of disobedience’.
12. Loving it Wholeheartedly
“And humble yourselves to them both with great pity and say:” O my Lord, love them both, as they both have taught me as a child. “
This verse from Al-Israa is kind of pray to Allah for keeping ourselves balance to our spouse (as a husband) and to our mother. A mother’s struggle to raise her child is not easy. Thus, the child must repay the virtues of his mother when he has grown up. One of them with how to love.
Even though she is married, the boy still has an obligation to love her mother beyond love for his wife. If this triggers envy in the heart of the wife, try to give understanding to her that mother is the main thing in Islam. As much as possible, try to create peace between your wife and mother.
13. Respectful and Polite
Respect is also a son’s obligation to his mother after marriage. The child is commanded to condemn a polite word to the parents. When parents make mistakes, a child should not yell at him. Remind them with a soft speech. And as a husband, guide your wife to honor your mother. For a wife, the mother-in-law is her mother. So to be respected and cherished like your own mother. You may want to read about Importance of Respecting Your Parents in Islam
That is the characteristic of Shalehah’s wife. Be fair to mother and wife’s living Regarding the problem of feeding, this often becomes the trigger of conflict in the family. Who should take precedence by the husband? Needs his wife and children or his mother’s needs?
Islam does require a husband to support his wife by birth and mind. And if the basic needs of the wife have been fulfilled, the husband must meet the needs of his mother. Remember that a child should not abandon his mother. As explained in a hadith from Muslim:
‘It was narrated that Aishah Ra asked the Prophet (s), “Who is entitled to a woman?” The Messenger of Allah replied, “Her husband” (when married). Aisha Ra asked again, “Who is entitled to a man?” The Messenger of Allah replied, “His mother”
A wife who forbids her husband to provide for his father-in-law, then the act may trigger sin. But if he also willingly gave up God willing sustenance increased and he was rewarded.
14. Caring well
The command to do good and to care for parents has been clearly written in the Qur’an. As a child, we are obliged to care for elderly parents. Do not send it to a nursing home. treat the parents well, love them, give a decent place to live. If their condition is weak and nobody takes care of it, try talking to the wife to invite parents to live together in one house; as it mentioned in Luqman verse 14 :
‘And We commanded men (do good) to his two fathers; her mother had conceived her in a state of weakness that grew, and weaned her in two years. Be thankful to Me and to your father’s two mothers, only to You are your return’
15. Obey his mother’s advice, as long as it does not harm
Married boys are still obliged to obey his mother’s orders. As long as the mother does not order things that are forbidden by Islam (such as misconduct) or other evil deeds then the child must obey the command. But if the wife does not approve it, try asking why she disagrees. Discuss carefully with the wife. And try to give the wife a wife about the teachings of Islam that explain the manner of behavior toward parents.
Right of our Parents After Marriage
- Pay Attention to mother-in-law condition.
- Pray to them
- Keep their Honor
- Being Introduce to Our Child/ Their Grandchildren
- Patiently Treat
- Remind for Pray to Allah swt.
- Always Visit Them for Every Sveral Time
- Rights to Glorified
- Not to Dependent or burdening them
- Keep their feelings, so they will not be worried to us.
That was their rights for our parents after we are getting married. We hope this is help you to taking your parents more careful and always bring happiness to them.