Every Muslim would like to be complimented. It shows our hard work is appreciated and make ourselves to feel lighter and happier. Compliments bring out positive vibes that another person is paying attention to you and something about you is worth the praise. It was also one important part for living in a society, and also a good way to start conversation.
However giving compliments is not as easy as it might seems. Some people hesitate to give compliments and end up saying nothing.
Islam as an all round religion have some useful tips to compliments the other person. Here are the ways on how to compliment someone in Islam that every Muslim should learn to do from now on.
1. Appreciating Their Hard Work
Giving compliments should be based on logical and for good reason. We can’t just giving groundless praise to random people. Just like us, other people love it most when we give them compliments for their hard work. It means we are appreciating their effort.
Even though when the hard work has nothing to do with us, but let’s try to stand on that people’s shoes. Wouldn’t we like to receive praise and compliments even though what we achieve has nothing to do with that person?
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2. Say It with Sincerity
We can tell when people talk to us sincerely and not. So whenever we compliment others, do it sincerely. They will know when you’re just pretending to compliment them, or even worse there is an insult hiding behind it. Allah SWT also judges us from sincerity.
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Allah does not look at your appearance or wealth, but rather he looks at your hearts and actions.” – Muslim
3. Tell Them in Detail
Don’t just give other Muslim mere compliments, because you will look and sound sincere to them. Point out what you are complimenting about. This make that people happier and feeling more of the sincerity in your compliment.
For example, instead of saying “Congratulation” you can add some details like “Happy graduation. You have done so well. You even manage to top grades.” If we are to choose, surely the last one is more pleasing to hear than the first.
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4. Praise Them When They’re Not Around
There are people who giving compliments only to get notice or credit from someone else. They played it so real it’s almost look sincere. But whenever the person is not around, they start to talk bad endlessly. Astaghfirullahaladzim. Sincerity is not only when the person is present, but it will be better if we compliment him behind his back. Then we do really want to compliment him, not just creating a scene.
5. Don’t Bring Negative Things Up
The difference between compliment and complain is very clear. You must choose one, what you’d like to give to other person. Don’t float in the middle because you would sound insincere. If you decide to give someone a compliment, don’t tag any negative things along. Just say the compliment. For example, “You are doing great but it such a shame you can’t take the first place.” Definitely it’s not a pleasant words to hear.
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6. Say It with a Nice Voice
How you sound when you are giving compliments is also important. Because people can easily tell sincerity from their voice. Say you compliments with an assured voice, not a low and lazy voice like you’re forced to give the compliments. The other people might be offended with your voice.
7. Don’t Compare Them with Anyone
When we are about to compliment someone, focus only on him and what thing you’d like to compliment. No need to compare him to someone else, not when the other person has higher achievement. It will only hurt his heart, especially when it’s about competition.
For example you said this, “Congratulation for winning the second place. But actually the winner is way better than you. No wonder she take the first place.”
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8. Don’t Exaggerate Your Expression
Giving compliment through a low and lazy voice make you sound insincere. But there is also one action that make you look no less insincere, when you act the other way around: exaggerating it. There is no need to raise your voice too high or doing excessive body language, because exaggeration could be assumed as a hidden insult.
9. Smile While You Compliment
Try to look as sincere as possible when you are giving compliments. Because there are people who are not good enough to deliver their sincerity. When other things seems hard, just smile while you compliment. Even though when your words is simple, your smile has say it all.
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10. Encourage Them to be Better
We can also slip motivation in the compliment, because we want that person to be better. You can something like, “You have done very good, but I believe you can do more.”
How to Respond to Compliment
- Don’t be full of yourself and think yourself higher than anyone else. Compliment should motivate you to be better.
- Tell everyone who give you compliment that nothing could happen without the permission of Allah, and all praise should be toward Him.
- Respond them with simple thank you and make sure you said that you really appreciated the compliments.
- Don’t reject or deny the compliment so strongly, because it would make you look arrogant.
- If you are working on a time, share the praise and compliments with the other person who deserve it and also working hard for the achievement.
After reading all of that, isn’t giving compliments not so hard in Islam? How to compliment someone in Islam is quite easy to do and it’s surprisingly beneficial. Muslims could get closer to their brothers through compliments. It is also make someone feel happier and appreciated. May Allah SWT loose our lips to easily give compliment to others, rather than complaining.