A Marriage is an awaited things and expected by many people. A marriage also part of human process for achieving of the purpose of human creation, the process of human creation, the nature of human creation, the concept of human in Islam, and humanity based on Islam as the function of religion.
As well as, the world according to Islam, success according to Islam, success in the world and afterlife according to Islam, and way of success according to Islam in this world, based on religious order. See also : Dua to Get Married Fast
However there is a time when someone awaiting for his mate or wedding day to come. Both who already have a partner or not, indeed before married we should always protect ourselves, notably our heart and soul. See also : Powerful Dua to Get Married
There are a lot of cases where people waiting for their wedding day arrived even trapped in a sinful situation, disobedience, and moreover fall into free promiscuity. Therefore, these are the ways how to guard your heart before marriage.
Order to Guard Heart and Sanctity of Ourselves
In Al-Qur’an, Allah gave a command to all human to prevent theirselves from adultery. It is prevail both for men or women, based on the condition of them universally.
1. For Men
Men ordered to guard their private parts and prevent their visions. This is for preventing their sanctity. Of course this also to prevent their sanctity including their hearts. This order or command already explained in the following Surah An-Nur verse 30 :
“Tell the believing men to reduce (some) of their vision and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what they do.” (An-Nur verse 30)
See also : How to Choose a Woman in Islam
2. For Women
In Al-Qur’an also ordered the same thing by Allah SWT. An order for women is to prevent her vision, guard her aurat and private parts, and cover the headcovers over her chest. This delivered in Al-Qur’an Surah An-Nur verse 30, as the following :
“And tell the believing women to reduce (some) of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which (necessarily) appears thereof and to wrap (a portion of) their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband’s fathers, their sons, their husband’s sons, their brothers, their brother’s sons, their sister’s sons, their women, that which their right hands possess, or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed.” (An-Nur verse 31)
See also : Dua to Get a Good Husband
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The Way to Guard Your Heart Before Marriage
God (Allah) command must implemented by us in our life as an effort to prevent our heart. Moreover, a prospective couple who are in deep feelings or love, usually will feel senses and excessive lust impulse. Therefore, heart must be guard in order not to trapped into immorality and adultery.
These are the ways how to guard your heart before marriage, either for those who will be married or in the process or looking for their partner of life.
1. Intend Yourself to Worship Allah SWT
If in the process of looking for a partner, getting married, or plannin on marriage, the a Moslem should rectify his intention for getting married as a form of worshipping Allah SWT. A Straightness of our intention in worship is a basic thing we should do before doing other things later on. This is how Allah already mentioned in the following verse :
“And they were not commanded except to worship Allah, (being) sincere to Him in religion, inclining to truth, and to establish prayer and to give zakah. And that is the correct religion.” (Al-Bayyinah verse 5) [AdSense-A]
See also : How to be Closer to Allah SWT
2. Do Not Conditioned Ourselves in An Environment or Promiscuity
Guarding heart should be as well as not conditioned ourselves in an environment or promiscuity. Promiscuity itself is easy to affect us. Satan is easy on tempting human if the environment were conducive enough to perform sin. As mentioned in the following Surah :
“O you who have believed, do not follow the footsteps of Satan. And whoever follows the footsteps of Satan – indeed, he enjoins immorality and wrongdoing. And if not for the favor of Allah upon you and His mercy, not one of you would have been pure, ever, but Allah purifies whom He wills, and Allah is Hearing and Knowing.” (An-Nur verse 21)
3. Bend Your Vision and Covering Aurat (Private Parts of Women According to Islam)
“O children of Adam, We have bestowed upon you clothing to conceal your private parts and as adornment. But the clothing of righteousness – that is the best. That is from the signs of Allah that perhaps they will remember.” (Al-A’raf verse 26)
As the above verse, then its best to guard our heart before marriage that between potential partner not to showing of their aurat and vision before the ijab and qabul. As well as to those who in search of their life-partner then do not exposed your vision and aurat (private parts) to the non mahrams. This is as a form of devotion to Allah since if our vision and aurat be exposed, it will be easy for someone to be deceived by Satan to do adultery.
4. Do Not Seclusion (Khalwa) to Non Mahrams
“And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way.” (Al-Isra verse 32)
Seclusion means close proximity (between man and woman non mahrams). Therefore, for a potential partner or not yet been mahrams, of course it is not allowed to be alone (khalwa) in a quiet place. It will be better if they want to discuss or know each other they pick a more crowded place, that will decrease the potential to commit immorality, and if it is possible accompanied by their mahrams.
5. Keep the Productive Activities
“But seek, through that which Allah has given you, the home of the Hereafter, and (yet), do not forget your share of the world. And do good as Allah has done good to you. And desire not corruption in the land. Indeed, Allah does not like corrupters.” (Al-Qasas verse 77)
The best thing we could do before getting married so that we’re not in trapped of immorality is to keep our productive activities. A Productive activities will made us focuss more, so that we never think and indulge in adultery actions. Therefore, we better be focussed on what we do that with our potential partner. See also : How to Improve Concentration in Islam
For moslems waiting for their wedding date they also could do some learning as follow :
- Family financial planning
- Family in Islam
- Sakinah family in Islam
- Harmonius family according to Islam
- Conflict within the family
Those subject will be needed to build a maritial life later. So, it is better to learn those things than doing unproductive activities.