There are always conflicts in a family. Even though families are bonded by blood, but they’re still imperfect human that make mistake every now and then. Things will be worse if we hurt on or our family members and end up conflicting with them. As family should be united under every circumstances, we should all find the ways how to deal with family conflicts in Islam:
1. Keep in a Good Terms with Them
Always try to keep in a good terms with them, especially in front of other people. It’s not good to show family disharmony to others. So even though you can’t be nice to them, be nice in front of others. Try not to share your family problems and not to say bad things about family you conflicted with.
Also read: How to Treat Your In Laws in Islam
2. Tell Them It’s Haraam to Cut Off the Ties
Somebody can get annoyed when someone you hate or someone you have conflict with is never keep themselves away from you. Think about it in a more positive way. Either they try to apology or they don’t want to cut off ties with you since it’s haraam to do it to your family.
3. Apologize to Them
Whether you are wrong or right, apologizing first is never wrong. It makes you a better person even when you are not making the mistake. It shows the real quality of yourself, which not anyone has. To be accepted or rejected, it’s their full right to do so.
Also read: How to Treat Enemies in Islam
4. Forgive Them for Their Wrongdoings
If it has been clear that you are not the one who make the mistakes, then forgive you family before they ask for it. Let them do whatever they want, and forgiving them give a sooth and calm impact that you never know before. It has nothing to do with them, it’s rather for your own sake.
5. Visit Them Shortly and Don’t Make Any Jokes
As a family, you cant resist but to visit them every now and them. Just make your visit briefly and don’t throw any jokes to them. As the heart of someone in a conflict in extremely sensitive, appearing in front of them for too long could make things worse.
Also read: Best Way to Seek Forgiveness from Allah
6. Avoid Living Too Close with Relatives
Relatives should be living separately and even far away from each other to gain the sense of belonging and loving. You will miss them since you can’t see them everyday. On the contrary, living together or too close with them sparks conflicts easily.
7. Don’t Listen to Gossip or Rumors
Don’t share your family conflicts with anyone, especially the one who is not blood related to you. We never know people’s intention and to avoid persons that may take advantage from the situation, it better to keep it alone and only share the matters with trusted person.
Also read: Virtues of Dhuha Prayer
8. Seek Help from Alah SWT
Who can help you other than Allah SWT? Mention it in your prayer and ask help from Allah to find you the best solution for the conflicts. He will answer to your call.
9. Ask Someone to Act as Mediator
If the problems are too big to be solved alone, then call a mediator to help you to. Mediator can be anyone, it can be the elders of the family, or to avoid the alignment, call for some professional that can be trusted and really know ho to solve a conflict.
Also read: Importance of Duha Prayer
10. Discuss the Matters
Discuss the matters with a cool head and calm heart. What’s bother you and them should be clearly defined to help you to find the best solutions.
11. Determine the Main Reasons
What is actually the reason you conflicted with each other? There will no smoke without fire, you might have to go back in time to see what really happened.
Also read: Benefits of Tawakkul to Allah SWT
12. Accept Their Apology
If the other side has admitted their mistake and they apologize first, you should never reject their apology. Accept them with a big heart and reconcile.
Solving the Conflicts in Marriage
Conflicts may happen not only in the big family but also occur to marriage with only two persons involved. Problem between husband and wife should also resolved too, in order for the couple to have a happy, long lasting marriage. Dealing with the marriage conflicts is pretty similar with how to deal with family conflicts in Islam. Here are the way to resolve them:
1. Save the Marriage
Both husband and wife should evaluate themselves and facing the problem with the same intention: to save the marriage. If two people are heading to the same direction, then the conflict resolution will become easier. Think about each other and especially your children if you’re about to do something.
2. A Marriage Should be Happy
All marriage are bound to be happy. Everyone should bear this in mind to avoid having divorce as the final solution in a family conflicts. Nobody should go with their ego and thinking that they are right are the spouse are wrong. Not sacrificing, but two person should compromise each other in order to be happy.
3. Think Again of the Reasons You Get Married
Whenever conflicts arise in a marriage, rethink about the reasons why you choose to marry your partner. Life may be hard right now, and remembering about the times where you are falling in love with each other will help you to think clearly.
4. Do Everything for the Sake of the Children
If you already have kids, so everything you do should be for the sake of your children. Don’t make them suffer from your ego. Decide on everything by thinking of them. Make your children happiness more important than yours.
5. Know Your Spouse Better
Any problems would be solved when a person understand their spouse and willing to understand them even better. Try to stand on their feet and see what you will do if it so.
Those are complete explanation about ways on how to deal with family conflict in Islam can you applied in everyday life.