Dead is something destined for every human alive. All of us will eventually meet our death, but we never know when, how, and where it happen. So death brings the importance of living well, doing many good deeds, and worshiping Allah with all of our heart. Because we never know when our lives would be taken, thus we have to prepare for the afterlife.
When one of our Muslim brothers or sisters death, it becomes out obligation to send our condolence both to the dead and the family. Islam as well rounded religion of course having its own way to define how should we send the condolence. As one of the basic knowledge about living in the society, here are the ways how to give condolences in Islam.
1. Visiting the House of the Dead
First thing first after hearing the news of death is visiting the house. It will be better if we could come before the body was buried. Visiting the house is the ultimate way in showing our grieve and loss. When the family knowing that we are coming to give condolence, it lightens their burden. In the place of the dead, the family could ask for the visitor’s forgiveness, in the hope that their path to Jannah will not be filled with obstacle.
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2. Taking the Dead to the Funeral
As said by the Prophet (SAW), one of the three rights a Muslim should give to his brother is taking the dead to the funeral. It is meant to pay our last respect, a farewell before we can meet again in the Hereafter. Also by taking our brother to his final resting place, we would reminded that someday it will be our body that are about to be buried.
3. Comforting the Family of the Dead
Dealing with the loss of the family is hard. This is why the family of the dead need to be comforted. Say only good words that will make them motivated. Most people tend to retell the story of the dead while he was alive. Those story only make the family even sad more.
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4. Not Sending Flower Wreath to the Dead
Sending flower wreath considered a modern way to show condolence. But a Muslim should never do that for its a tradition from other beliefs that none of our Prophet has done before. Rather than giving flowers, it would be better to come to the house of the dead.
5. Sending Prayers for the Dead
A dead man can no longer do good deeds. So that his fate on the Hereafter decided by the deeds he committed while he lived. But we can help his journey a little bit better by sending him sincere prayer.
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6. Reciting Quran for the Dead
Holy Quran guides us to live well, and it will help us in the Hereafter. Recite the Quran under the name of the dead. We don’t necessarily have to read the Quran in the funeral, but we can also send it from far away. [AdSense-B]
7. Giving Condolence Money to the Family
After the mourning stage ended, the family would soon be aware of how would their life turn out after the dead. Of course they need moral support more than anything, but they will soon need material support as well. Especially when the one who passed away is the father.
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8. Delivering Food in the Early Mourning
Let the family be in peace and concern in the emotional healing. As a good Muslim, we should be giving help during this time. Provide and deliver foods for the family of the dead in the early mourning. Let them recover from the lost fully.
9. Saying Soothing Words to the Family
Beside material support, the family also need mental support. Tell the family that everything will be okay, and many other things that can lighten their sadness. Avoid saying things about the dead that will make the family sad even more.
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10. Spreading the News About the Dead
The more condolence come, the better it will be for the dead. So that more people will send prayer to the dead and the family. Spread the news to acquainted friends and family about the news of the dead. Since we are living in a modern era, the news would spread faster and reach even more people. [AdSense-C]
11. Giving the Family Time to Mourn
No matter how much we want to show our loving and caring nature, we should not be meddled in the family too far. Give time to the family to grieve among each other. They need to deal with the lost, and surely we have to be understanding. We don’t know how hard it is for family, and how long it takes until they can fully recovered from it.
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12. Not Staying Long at the House of Dead
The house of the dead is not a reunion space or wedding hall. It’s not right for the people who come to express condolences, then staying there for too long time. Quickly leave after we meet the family, even though we meet someone we know, talk more outside the house after making the leave. It is also not right to talk loudly and looking bright while we pay a visit to a house that has just lost one of its member.
So those are the most applicable ways on how to give condolences in Islam. One thing that us Muslim should remember is, no matter how sad and loss we feel, we should never shed a tear or wailing. Not saying the things that the dead wanted to do, or should be done, or the wished that haven’t been fulfilled yet and the dreams that the dead has not achieved yet. When giving condolences, the most important thing to do is to console the family, not adding up their pain more.
The time of when should we send the condolence is also not important. Even if we can’t come on the first week after the death, it’s okay as long as we rushed to visit the house of dead when the time is available.