Today, teens are more courage to do relationship with the opposite sex or it is often called with dating. Indeed as we know that there is no word “dating “ in Islam. Even Islam forbids dating because it is equated with adultery in Islam. As the word of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala :
وَلَا تَقْرَبُوا۟ ٱلزِّنَىٰٓ ۖ إِنَّهُۥ كَانَ فَٰحِشَةً وَسَآءَ سَبِيلًا
“And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way.” (Q.S. Al-Isra : 32)
See also :
There are some women who induce with dating invitations or flattery from men. So they follow their invitations, indeed it is a woman that is very hated by Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala, even it is including to big sins in Islam. But a number of women who have strong faith to reject men.
The obligation of women in Islam is taking care their honor by rejecting male love who invite to dating, here are thirteen ways on how to reject male love in Islam :
- Do not respond him
If he calls you aggressively and invite you to dating, then you should be better to not respond him. Let all of callings, Short Message, or other chats that against you, go. Do not respond it. Sooner or later, he will be bored and stop to disturb you. But, if you are very disturbed with it, you can block his phone number and his social media.
- Do not harness him
Sometimes, some women who do not do special relationship, harness men’s interest for his benefits. This behavior is as same as hurt others, while the law of hurting someone’s hurt is not allowed. Even, it is including to things that erase good deeds. [AdSense-B]
- Do not discuss the personal life
Make small talk with that man. Do not let him to know more about your personal life. If a man knows more about your personal life, he will feel that you have same feeling to him.
- Always invite the third person
Do not allow yourself to be alone with a member of the opposite sex. With a man who has done khitbah in Islam, you are not allowed, moreover if you are go with a man who has not had mate marks from Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala. As the word of Rasulullah Shallallahu ‘Alaihi Wa sallam :
“From Ibn Abbas r.a. that Rasulullah saw, said : “Do not occasionally one of you hide with a woman, except she is companied with her muhrim.” (Narrated by Bukkhari and Muslim)
- Say that you find a mate by marrying
Say directly that you do not find a mate by dating way, but by marrying. Because love according to islam only grows after marrying. [AdSense-A]
See also :
- Busy yourself by doing worships
Do not be influenced by men love invitations. It should be better if you continue to improve your faith in Islam, so you can be more strong to reject love from bad men.
- Invite him to be more close to Allah SWT
When a man invites you to dating, then you should give an explanation that dating is as same as doing list of unforgivable sins in Islam. You can also invite him to do many worships together. You may also read how to be closer to Allah SWT.
- Keep your distance
Besides ignoring all contacts of him, you can also avoid to meet him. Keep your distance as safe as possible, so he do not have a chance to come near you again.
- Never say that you and him are better to be a friend
If you have an intention t reject him, then you have to reject him firmly. Do not hang him with false hope. The statement “You and I are better to be a friend” will just make him feel that there is a hope in the future. There is no social in Islam that affirm a friendship between men and women.
- Use clothes that are more closed
Maybe a man offers his love to you because your own fault. For that, try to use clothes that are more closed again. Even if necessary, use a purdah. So, he will realize that you have closed yourself and there is no chance for men. The law of a purdah woman is also a sunnah.
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا تَدْخُلُوا بُيُوتَ النَّبِيِّ إِلَّا أَنْ يُؤْذَنَ لَكُمْ إِلَىٰ طَعَامٍ غَيْرَ نَاظِرِينَ إِنَاهُ وَلَٰكِنْ إِذَا دُعِيتُمْ فَادْخُلُوا فَإِذَا طَعِمْتُمْ فَانْتَشِرُوا وَلَا مُسْتَأْنِسِينَ لِحَدِيثٍ ۚ إِنَّ ذَٰلِكُمْ كَانَ يُؤْذِي النَّبِيَّ فَيَسْتَحْيِي مِنْكُمْ ۖ وَاللَّهُ لَا يَسْتَحْيِي مِنَ الْحَقِّ ۚ وَإِذَا سَأَلْتُمُوهُنَّ مَتَاعًا فَاسْأَلُوهُنَّ مِنْ وَرَاءِ حِجَابٍ ۚ ذَٰلِكُمْ أَطْهَرُ لِقُلُوبِكُمْ وَقُلُوبِهِنَّ ۚ وَمَا كَانَ لَكُمْ أَنْ تُؤْذُوا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ وَلَا أَنْ تَنْكِحُوا أَزْوَاجَهُ مِنْ بَعْدِهِ أَبَدًا ۚ إِنَّ ذَٰلِكُمْ كَانَ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ عَظِيمًا
“O you who have believed, do not enter the houses of the Prophet except when yo are permitted for a meal, without awaiting its readiness. But when you are invited, then enter; and when you have eaten, disperse without seeking to remain for conversation.
Indeed [behavior] was troubling the Prophet, and he is shy of [dismissing] you. But Allah is not shy of the truth. And when you ask [his wives] for something, ask them from behind a partition. That is purer for your hearts and their hearts.
And it is not [conceivable or lawful] for you to harm the Messenger of Allah or to marry his wives after him, ever. Indeed, that would be in the sight of Allah an enormity.” (Q.S. Al-Ahzab : 53)
- Reject with Quran Verses
Say firmly that you cannot accept his love. Firm with dalil from Al-Qur’an and As-Sunnah. He must fall back immediately and never come back again.
وَلَا تَقْرَبُوا۟ ٱلزِّنَىٰٓ ۖ إِنَّهُۥ كَانَ فَٰحِشَةً وَسَآءَ سَبِيلًا
“And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way.” (Q.S. Al-Isra : 32)
يَوْمَ تَشْهَدُ عَلَيْهِمْ أَلْسِنَتُهُمْ وَأَيْدِيهِمْ وَأَرْجُلُهُم بِمَا كَانُوا۟ يَعْمَلُونَ
“On a Day when their tongues, their hands and their feet will bear witness against them as to what they used to do.” (Q.S. An-Nur : 24)
- Pray
Ask for Allah Subahanhu Wa Ta’ala to affirm your heart, so you can continue in His way and you are not switched or tempted by Satan’s whispering. Because the best help is coming from Allah Subahanhu Wa Ta’ala.
وَمَا كَانَ قَوْلَهُمْ إِلَّآ أَن قَالُوا۟ رَبَّنَا ٱغْفِرْ لَنَا ذُنُوبَنَا وَإِسْرَافَنَا فِىٓ أَمْرِنَا وَثَبِّتْ أَقْدَامَنَا وَٱنصُرْنَا عَلَى ٱلْقَوْمِ ٱلْكَٰفِرِينَ
“And their words ere not but that they said, “Our Lord, forgive us our sins and the excess [committed] in our affairs and plant firmly our feet and give us victory over the disbelieving people.” (Q.S. Ali Imran : 147)
See also : How to get sins forgiven in Islam
- Do not advertise your feeling
If you have rejected a man’s love, then you should not contact or advertise your feeling again. Be a shy woman and do not give your attention at all, although you only give a like icon in his social media. Rasulullah Shallallahu ‘Alaihi Wa sallam said,
“Faith has more than seventy or sixty branches. The highest branch is the word of ‘La ilaha illallah’, and the lowest is removing the thorn (disorder) from ways. And shy is one of faith branches.” (Narrated by Bukhari)
Thus the article about how to reject men love in Islam and its dalil. Hopefully it will be useful for you. Amen.