Marriage is one of Allah’s commandment as it is stated on Al-Qur’an and Hadidh :
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱتَّhقُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُم مِّن نَّفْسٍ وَٰحِدَةٍ وَخَلَقَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنْهُمَا رِجَالًا كَثِيرًا وَنِسَآءً ۚ وَٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ ٱلَّذِى تَسَآءَلُونَ بِهِۦ وَٱلْأَرْحَامَ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَيْكُمْ رَقِيبًا
“To all human kind, be Godly to your Lord who has created you one by one, and He is created your partner from your own kind, and from both of you there are many descendants’ boys and girls. Be afraid of Him by mentioning His name you are asking each other, and keep on the relationship (silaturahmi). Indeed, Allah SWT is always be your guide and oversees all of you.” (QS. An-Nisa:1)
The purpose of marriage in Islam is to build a household in Islam or be a sakinnah, mawaddah warrahmah family. We are recommended to always perform all of Allah SWT commandment and His Messenger in order to be a happy family. In fact, there are some sunnah which are recommended to be done after nadr, such as:
1. Praying for the marriage couple
It is recommended to send a prayer for the marriage couple in order they can undergo their household better. The content of the prayer is:
“May Allah SWT graceful all barakah to you, and may Allah SWT graceful all barakah upon you, and may Allah SWT also gathering the two of you into the good.” (HR. Abu Dawud, Tirmidzi and Ibnu Majjah)
2. Sunnah prayer with wife or spouse
There is story about recommendation to do sunnah prayer 2 rakaat with wife or spouse.
Abu Sa’id Maula (a free slave) was narrated that when he was being a servant, he did marriage and invited some of Rasulullah SAW relatives, including Abdullah bin Mas’ud Abu Dzar and Hudzaifah. Abu Sa’id said that they were guiding him, “When your wife gets closer to you, then asked her to do sunnah prayer as 2 rakaat. Ask of Allah SWT protection from your wife badness and let the rest to be discussed among both of you.”
Once, Abdullah bin Mas’ud said to someone who just married, “When your wife gets closer to you, then give her instruction to praying 2 rakaat behind you.” (HR. Abu Bakr bin Abi Syaibah)
3. Husband put his hand on the fontanel of his wife head
It means to pray of his wife as Rasulullah SAW said,
” If you are married with a woman or buy a slave, you should hold on the top of her head and read ‘basmallah’ and pray to her, “ Dear God, I ask her kindness and all the nature of her kindness. I am shelter from her badness and all the nature of her badness.” (HR. Bukhari) [AdSense-B]
4. Do walimah (reception of the wedding)
There is a story which is mentioned to recommend organizing a walimah or reception of the wedding.
When Abdurrahman bin ‘Auf arrived at Madinah, Rasulullah SAW united him with Sa’ad bin Ar Rabi’ Al Anshari, then Sa’ad offered him to share between his two wives and his wealth. Abdurrahman bin ‘Auf said,” May Allah SWT blessed you and your family and your wealth. Be informed me the trade. “He is selling and gets profit from samin oil and cheese. After few days, Rasulullah SAW saw him wearing a good cloth and in a fragrance condition.
Rasulullah SAW asked him,” How do you do dear ‘Abdurrahman?” Abdurrahman answered,” I have married with an Anshar woman.” Rasulullah SAW asked again,” How much does the bride price you gave to her?” Abdurrahman said,” It is jewelry as weight as a gold bar.” The prophet said,” Please do walimah (reception) even it is only with a goat.” (HR. Bukhari 3937, Tirmidzi 1933, Nasai’ 3388)
5. Do siwak
Al-Miqdam bin Syuraih said from his father
,” I asked to Aisyah,” What does Rasulullah SAW do when he enter his house?” She answered,” He does siwak.” (HR. Muslim 253)
“There are four sunnah of Rasulullah SAW; loving, wearing fragrance, do siwak and get married.” (HR.Tirmidzi).
6. Be gentle to your wife
Asma’ binti Yazid As-Sakan RA said,
“I make up Aisyah to Rasulullah SAW and I asked him to give a present to her. Rasulullah came and sit next to Aisyah while she offered a glass of milk to him. After Rasulullah drank the milk, he gave the glass to her but Aisyah was lowered her head in embarrassed. Asma binti Yazid said,” I reminded Aisyah while said to her, “Accepted the glass from Rasulullah SAW.” Aisyah took the glass and drank it slowly.” (HR. Ahmad)
Be gentle and romantic are one of the other ways to make happiness of your wives in Islam.
7. Do for play
Today, it is advisable for couple to do such for play in intimate relationship. In fact, Islam is already have the knowledge about it, as Rasulullah said,
” Do not one of you are having sexual relation like animals. You shall give for play which is kissing and flattering.” (HR. Tirmidzi). It is explained on ethics of sexual relationship on your wife in Islam.
8. Ask permission before enter the room
Ummu Salamah RA said that when Rasulullah SAW married her and willing to have sexual relation, he asked her permission first. (HR. Abu Syaikh with Sanad Hasan Shahih) [AdSense-C]
9. Praying before Jima’
Praying before having sexual relation is one of the courtesy of husband and wife relation in Islam. The content of the prayer is: Allahumma Jannibnasy Syaithon wa Jannibisy Syaithon Maa Rozaqtanaa.
“In the name of Allah SWT, please keep away from Syaithan and keep away Syaithan from what you give to us.” (HR. Bukhari and Muslim)
Rasulullah SAW also mentioned,
“When Allah SWT gives destiny to both of them a child, then their child will not get the badness from syaithan forever.” (HR. Al-Bukhari and Ashabussunan except An-Nasai’)
10. Do not divulge the secret on the bed
Rasulullah SAW said,
” Surely, the worst human amongst alongside of Allah SWT is those who are having fun (sexual relation) with their wives and so do in the vice verse, and then propagate their entire secret into others.” (HR. Muslim)
Asma’ binti Yazid said,
” Once, I was on Rasulullah SAW place while all the men and women are sitting. Then Rasulullah SAW said, “There will be a man who tells his activities with his wife and there will be also a woman who did the same thing.” Together they are speechless, and then I said, “For the sake it is true dear Rasulullah.
Indeed, the men and the women are doing the same things. Rasulullah SAW said,” Do not do that. In fact, it is similar with a male syaithon meets a female syaiton on the road and then they were mingle in the condition of the human were saw it. It is shahih because it was narrated by Ahmad (6/456) previously.
Those are some sunnah which are recommended to be done after marriage. Hopefully, we are able to build a happy family in Islam.